the Unemployed
HI! It's Nige again. Today's topic is these wretched people we term "scum" or as those soft-centred liberals call them "the unemployed". Like I've said before why can't these people just get jobs off their Daddies it would solve like sooooo many problems. But seen as though these scumbags are too lazy it's us that have to pay for their food and shelter. It's like sooooo selfish I mean like why should we like have to pay for people's bare necessities, like why can't they like live on the streets or something? I've said it before and I'll say it again it's soooooo selfish of them. Like what do they think they are? Artists 'cos they're drawing the dole.
It's not as if there's no jobs out there, I mean like we're always on the look out for servants to do everything for us, I like I could never like do my own washing or clean up after myself. God how lower class is that! I've never had to lift a finger in my life and I'm hardly going to start now just because these scumbags have to much self-respect to put with my condescending attitude. I mean like I can't help but look down my nose at those people who aren't my equal. Christ, I mean you'd think that these people would be grateful to be in the presence of someone of such good breeding as I.
By the way, if any of you wasters want a job then just send a C.V (if you can be bothered getting one printed up, you lazy scumbags) to:
42 St. Augustine of
Hippo when he was baptised by St. Ambrose of Milan Road,
Donnybrook,
Dublin 4 (obviously)
If we even pay you the most you'll earn is £1.50 an hour, God forbid that we like create a middle class intelligentia! We can't have you people getting ideas above your station just because you're earning a little money, now can we? I mean like our maid had the cheek to ask for Christmas day off! She gave us some sob story about wanting to spend time with her six kids or something. After Daddy gave her a good beating he locked her in the cellar to think about what she had done. Like who would open our presents for us? What a selfish cow! She got her come-uppance though 'cos after we locked her in the cellar we clean forgot that she was down there and she starved to death! It was like sooooo funny.
Anyway, I think that these parasites should all be locked up or something so that like all us upper class people can use their kids as our slaves, I mean it would save us so much money on wages. That way we would have even more money than we need and we could horde it all in a bank account 'cos like you can never have too much money. It's not as if there's any problems in the world and we need all our money so we can spend all on ourselves. What I'm trying to say is that we - your superiors - think that you should be happy to be our skivvies for shite wages instead of sponging of the state, you lazy good-for-nothings.