God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced with a
class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact
statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but
was stymied with the cease and desist order for the earthly part.
Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly
project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be
creative.
Then God said, "Let there be light", and immediately
the officials demanded to know how the light would be made. Would
there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God
explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire. God
was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that
no smoke would result from the ball of fire: that he would obtain
a building permit; and to conserve energy, would turn the light
off half the time. God agreed and said he would call the light
"Day" and the darkness "Night". Officials
replied that they were not interested in semantics.
God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and bear
much seed". The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used.
Then God said, "Let waters bring forth creeping creatures
begetting life; and the fowl that may fly over the earth".
Officials pointed out this would require approval from the
Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife
Federation and the Audubongelic Society.
Everything was O.K. until God said he wanted to complete the
project in Six days. Officials said it would take at least 200
days to review the application and impact statement. After that
there would be a public hearing. Then there would be a 10-12
month approval period before...
At this point God created Hell.