Road Signs Found Across the United States

1. At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

2. In a New York restaurant: Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.

3. On the wall of a Baltimore estate: Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. --Sisters of Mercy

4. On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: 38 years on the same spot.

5. In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.

6. In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.

7. In a New York drugstore: We dispense with accuracy.

8. In the offices of a loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.

9. In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Centre

10. On a New York convalescent home: For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.

11. On a Maine shop: Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.

12. At a number of military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.


13. On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.

14. In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

15. In a funeral parlor: Ask about our layaway plan.

16. In a clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.

17. In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: 15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!

18. On a shopping mall marquee: Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced

19. Outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.

20. In the window of an Oregon store: Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?

21. In a Maine restaurant: Open 7 days a week and weekends.

22. On a radiator repair garage: Best place to take a leak.

23. In the vestry of a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.

24. In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

25. On a roller coaster: Watch your head.

26. On the grounds of a public school: No trespassing without permission.

27. On a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

28. Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash: If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car.

29. And apparently, somewhere in England in an open field otherwise untouched by human presence, there is a sign that says "Do not throw
stones at this sign."