Assortment Zwei

The Blazing Saddles Collection

[Bart on grandstand to the townspeople]
Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out.
[Bart reaches into waistline as crowd gasps and screams. Bart pulls out paper]
Crowd: Ahhhhh!

Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: We're not sure. Are we black?
Bart: Yes, we are.
Jim: Then we're awake, but very puzzled.

[Jim downs a bottle of whiskey in one long guzzle.]
Bart: A man drink like that, he is going to DIE!
Jim: When?

Bart: Mornin', ma'am! And isn't it a lovely mornin'?
Elderly woman: Up yours nigger!

Bart: I better go check out this Mongo character. [Bart reaches for his gun.]
Jim: Oh no, don't do that.
Bart: Why not?
Jim: If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad.

-Cleavon Little to Gene Wilder

Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.

-Alex Karras

Taggart: I got it! I got it!
Lamarr: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.
Lamarr: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one..
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Lamarr: You spare the women?
Taggart: NAW! We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on!
Lamarr: Marvelous!

-Slim Pickens to Harvey Korman

Lamarr: Meeting adjourned! Oh, I am sorry sir I didn't mean to overstep my bounds, you say that.
Gov. Lepetomane: What?
Lamar: Meeting is adjourned.
Gov. Lepetomane: It is?
Lamarr: No, you say that governor!
Gov. Lepetomane: What?
Lamarr: Meeting is adjourned!
Gov. Lepetomane: It is?
Lamarr: Here sir, play with this! [Hands the governor a rubber ball and paddle set.]

-Harvey Korman to Mel Brooks

[The Governor is having trouble putting his pen back into its holder]
Lamar: Think of your secretary...
[The pen goes straight in]
Gov. Lepetomane: Thank you! That's a good one!

-Harvey Korman to Mel Brooks

[Dr. Sam Johnson (with laurel wreath in hand) greets Bart (the new sheriff), reading from a piece of paper, not realizing that Bart is black]
Dr. Sam Johnson: As chairman of the welcoming committee, it is my honor and privilege to extend this Laurel and Hardy handshake to the town's new [finally looks up] ... nigger.

-Richard Collier

Bart: You be my guest, and I be your host. What be your pleasure,Jim?
Jim: I don't know... play chess... screw....
Bart: quickly: Let's play chess!

-Cleavon Little to Gene Wilder

[Describing how everyone wanted to duel him when he was The Waco Kid.]
Jim: Then one day I hear "Reach for it mister!" I spun around, and there I was standing face to face with a six year old kid. Well, I just laid down my guns and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass!

-Gene Wilder