Bear or Biscuit
After much deliberation of scientists it has been decided that the old system of five elements: fire, earth, air, water and wood -is completely and utterly wrong. Just ask any chemist and they'll tell you all about the elements, earth, air, fire, water and wood. None of these are there but Lawrencium is!
Further deliberation over a lunch one day it became clear to us at the Page of Sane
that there are in fact only two elements. It was decided after we tried to classify the delectible "Fig Rolls". We tried to classify it: Pie or Biscuit.
biscuit points: It's always put in the biscuit section in supermarkets, comes in a biscuit style packet. i.e. plastic, most people say: biscuit.
pie points: It has no biscuit just fruit and pastry, although in a plastic wrapper fig rolls are stacked in packet; like pies.
This decision was a very difficult one. We even went into Tescos to gain further evidence. We asked a worker there to tell us if they had any Fig Rolls. The worker had a look. We waited with baited breath to see what would happen; bizarrely and completely unexpectedly she looked in the roll section. Unbelievable! She eventually found them though. In the biscuit section.
Although fig rolls were found in the biscuit section we were still a little wary about its classification into the biscuit section of world order. As our minds wandered we thought of Pandas. They're not scary, more cuddly and they are classified as bears. So the final classification system has been created. All things on this world and not can be divided into two sections. a) Biscuits, b) Bears.
This is the truth, thanks be to God.