The extremely uncomplete dictionairy of stuff!!!

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Anchovy
An "Anchovy" is a type of fish that can be seen swimming around off the coast of Mexico. Anchovys are small fish, bizarrely normal, except for one facet. They are the only type of fish which do not have access to a shower cubicle due to an inventory reshuffle in the fish world. Generally Anchovys live quite a sane life; always reading the same books, meeting the same people, and always turning up for their bi-monthly game of badminton.

A Time-Line of Anchovy history.
145 BC - The First Ever Anchovy Badminton Championship
55 AD - Unsuccessful attempt by Anchovanus the Great to invade Poland on horseback.
100 AD - 1511 AD - The Great Anchovy WAR.
1675 AD - The Great Fishbowl rebellion
1955 AD - The Second Great War vs Pizza Hut
1997 AD - Alan Haudoon wins his 2142nd Badminton Championships.

Argos
Greek God with 1000 eyes. Rumoured to be living in a council flat with his fiancee in Aberdeen.

Barmby, Nick
Soccer player who plays for Liverpool side "Everton". Scored a goal last season.

Basketball
Basketball is a game played by two teams of 7ft freaks who all try to get a round mattress into a mishaped whaling net. Little is known of this particularly American pursuit except that it really hurts if the mini-mattress / ball hits you flat on the nose.

Billie
Young pop starlet from Swindon(UK). She's so young, does everything "Cos She wants to". Everyone predicts a small future for this gal. With people in a couple of years saying "Remember Billie!" instead of "Remember Chesney Hawkes!".

Commandments (Aussie Soap Style)
"Thou shalt leave soap and be replaced by another actor/actress"
"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours ox"
"Thou shalt let your friend who has run away from home live in the `abandoned` house on the street"
"Thou shalt covet thy neighbour"
"Thous shalt complain about money while buying coffee's at the Coffee Shop or local establishment"
"Thou shalt not be on school holiday. All year around apart from 1 week."
"Alf shalt not have any storylines"
"Thou shalt forget all deceased relatives within 1 week of death"

Corinthians
A book from the bible. It contains stories on romance and some stories written in the style of Agatha Christie. Kinda like murder mysteries.

Dalmation
A type of cat that is all white except for lots of black spots all over it. Famous from the Disney Film: The Lion King.

England
European colony in the American Empire

Exception
When something weird happens when you expected something that was really normal to happen. Like if you were walking down the street in Birmingham (US) and a platypus fell onto you. You would say to your friend: "I went to Birmingham (US) and a platypus fell on my head. It doesn't happen all of the time, it was an exception."

Fandango
A cool word, we should hear more of.

Gandhi, Mahatma
Mahatma Gandhi is a shoe salesman from Washington DC (US).

Gold Run
The bit on Blockbusters(UK) when you win the prizes. Like suitcases and stuff.

Halibut
A medieval weapon. Used primarily for knocking over clay plant pots to annoy an opponent. Due to it's specific nature it was rarely used outdoors. And was an extremely unpopular weapon. Especially with the naturists who tried to get it banned during the Boar War.

Hannibal
The leader of the A-Team. He always had a cigar sticking out of his orifice. See Lewnisky, Monica.

Indigo
Sort of Bluey, Purpley Colour.

Jumpin' Jack Flash
A computer film starring Whooppi Goldberg from the successful Nescafe advertising campaign. The film was very good. Except for the bit when she ripped her skirt. I didn't like that bit

Kilkenny
An Irish Beer. Which they have always got none of in my local pub.

Lewinsky, Monica
Quote: "I love it when a plan comes together"

Log
The tree version of a man with no arms or legs.

Marxism
An economic structure which involves boycotting Burger King burgers and Coca-Cola drinks.

Mushrooms
The agreed currency of dinner ladies everywhere. During the 1988 mushroom shortage twelve Ford factories had to close down due to lack of food for the workers when the dinner ladies economy broke down.

Netenyahuu, Benjamin
Amusingly named Israeli prime minister. Refused a place on Celebrity Squares a record 22 times.

New York
The only insomniac city. What New York needs is a f**king large mug of Lemsip. A very confusing city. As an American once said to me: Oh It's the Big Apple, the city that never sleeps.
OK. An Insomniac Fruit!! People say I should visit there. No thanks. It sounds scary.

Orange
A colour like red but not as strong. Orange to Red is like Phil Mitchell to Grant Mitchell.

Paris
Small town in the centre of France. Famous as the birthplace of Dean Stockwell and Sandra Bullock.

Penis
A small man with a dustbin on his head.

Plan
Two consenting adults. One woman, one male (usually).

Quail
The smallest dolphin you've ever seen. EVER.

Roland Rat
A rat named after Roland Rivron. Roland Rat lived in Kings Cross Station. He hasn't been seen since 1985. Still drives a pink cadillac.

Run
Very similar to a walk. Deceptively similar. Apart from when you run your legs move faster. Or so I've been told. I gave up running, I'm allergic. Every time I do it I come out in a sweat..