Berliner becomes God
It may have been a fine summers morning in Berlin, but no-one knew, and that was the strange thing you seee... Not a word had been heard from Berlin since the second world war, no telephone calls, no TV shows and no people had emerged from that part of the world. It was a total mystery, even the Russian guides didn't know anything and they were renowned for knowing what's going on, anyway that wasn't when it all started, that was 20 billion years ago, on a doorstep in a galaxy a long, long way away......
Araynus, a planet quite a long way from earth had just begun, a collision of two stars had caused it's creation. Rock from both stars had joined together to make a planet that could sustain life on a large basis. But Araynus was no ordanairy planet.. it was oval.
On Araynus, somewhere near the left tip a man (this man would probably be a caveman on Earth, but alas there were no caves on Arayans due to the small tidal forces or something like that). He was happily teaching a small goat to learn how to read (goats are quite intelligent there), in his lounge when a package fell on his doorstep, this was no ordanairy doorstep though, it was made of pure gold and was jewel lined. He could be described as a little eccentric. The man put down the book, the goat continued to try to read the first sentence in the book, it was giving the goat some difficulty.
The package was quite small. He shook it, and as he did this the house and his surroundings starded shaking badly, a cameleon in a nearby tree fell into the pond and a sailor fell of his bicycle somewhere in Bangkok, Earth. The package was wrapped in brown paper and had a small note attached to it, the note said:
Gone on Holiday for a couple of Millenia,
Please look after this package for me,
It contains the universe
Yours lovingly God...
Well, thought the rather nice but naive man, this is quite a responsibility. I wonder what I'm meant to do? What is the purpose of this message? He looked at the sky and cried "IS THIS A SIGN?". He waited but there was no reply..
He was so overawed by the whole experience he went into his kitchen and put the package on top of the cooler. He then proceeded to open the cooler and took out one can of pop, an Araynus apple and a Ski yoghurt. He sat down on what he knew to be his most comfortable chair, eat the apple, the yoghurt and drank the can of pop. All of this action made him sleepy and he fell into slumberland.
It was two weeks later that he remembered about the package, things had not been going well. There had been huge floods and earthquakes throughout the planet, the leader of Araynus had been killed and the TV stations had stopped broadcasting. It wasn't all of the bad omens that had made him remember about the package, it was a large disc shaped object that landed on the front lawn, or maybe it wasn't that, maybe it was the small man that walked from the craft and said "Hey! Are you Mr Benn!". "No Now Piss off or i'll call the police", And the aliens KNEW he wasn't kidding. The police.........STOP! STOP! This is far too silly for words! You cannot blame a man from an oval planet for all that's wrong in the universe. Why not! You just can't that's all! Oh! Sorry just a misunderstanding I'll go back in my pond.
