LAMPS AT SEA
Starring
Shandy
Nicky
Doug
The lamps had been drifting for a long time at sea. Now lost, very lost. Bored.
Nicky: How? But how? How can you prefer Englishlamps to Welshlamps?
Shandy: Englishlamps can stay on top for eighty minutes, EIGHTY MINUTES. And still come second.
Doug: Shagging an Englishman probably would be classed as charity. Maybe you could use it towards your community service sentence!
Nicky: Being on land wouldn't help any! Why do you need to do community service anyway?
Shandy: Impersonating a solicitor.
Doug: Soliciting DOESN'T mean impersonating a solicitor.
Shandy: Huh!
Nicky: Are you saying you were trying to sell your plug! SELL! Don't you need someone who wants to plug into you before you can do that.
Doug: Mr Salimov was very interested at one time.
Nicky:Who?
Doug: He owned the travelling circus. Jeez Shandy you'd have been brilliant. The bearded lamp.
Nicky: Hey! I used to be in the circus, my stage name was Robert Dare: The man with nipples of steel.
Shandy: Talking of nipples of steel. When's lunch?
