The Procrastinator's Creed

   1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been
      done already.
   2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find
      excuses.
   3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of
      consideration.
   4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the
      amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing
      them.
   5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new
      technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my
      obligations.
   6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless
      of the amount of time given.
   7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though
      infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.
   8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
   9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide
      to change my mind.
  10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step,
      and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
  11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the
      greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work
      that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
  12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is
      wait/plan/plan.
  13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about
      forever.
  14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed
      Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it
      organized.