If IBM made toasters...
     They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be
     submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market
     for five, maybe six toasters.

     If Microsoft made toasters...
     Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a
     toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have
     to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15000 pounds (hence
     requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough electricity to
     power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your kitchen, would
     claim to be the first toaster that let's you control how light or
     dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your
     other appliances to find out who made them. Everyone would hate
     Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the
     good bread only works with their toasters.

     If Apple made toasters...
     It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years
     earlier.

     If Fisher Price made toasters...
     "Baby's First Toaster" would have a hand-crank that you turn to  toast
     the bread that pops up like a Jack-in-the-box.

     If the NSA made toasters...
     Your toaster would have a secret trap door that only the NSA could
     access in case they needed to get at your toast for reasons of
     national security.

     Does DEC still make toasters?...
     They made good toasters in the '70s, didn't they?

     If Hewlett-Packard made toasters...
     They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which takes in toast
     and gives you regular bread.

     If Sony made toasters...
     Their Personal Toasting Device, which would be barely larger than
     the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently
     attached to your belt.

     If Cray made toasters...
     They would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other
     single-slice toaster in the world.

     If Timex made toasters...
     They would be cheap and small quartz-crystal wrist toasters that  take
     a licking and keep on toasting.

     If Radio Shack made toasters...
     The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about  it.
     Or you could buy all the parts to build your own toaster.

     If K-Tel sold toasters...
     They would not be available in stores, and you would get a free set
     of Ginsu knives.