NEW COMPUTER VIRUSES
                                       
   The following computer viruses have recently been identified - you are
   advised to check your computer for these as soon as possible.
   Bobbitt Virus:
       Removes a vital part of your hard disk then reattaches it (but
       that part will never work again).
       
   Oprah Winfrey Virus:
       Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly
       expands back to 200MB.
       
   AT&T Virus:
       Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are
       getting.
       
   MCI Virus:
       Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying too much
       for the AT&T Virus.
       
   Ted Turner Virus:
       Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
       
   Dan Quayle Viruse:
       Their is sumthing rong with yor komputer, ewe jsut cant figyour
       outt wat.
       
   Government Economist Virus:
       Nothing works, but all of your diagnostic software says everything
       is fine.
       
   New World Order Virus:
       Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just
       thinking about it.
       
   Federal Bureaucrat Virus:
       Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of
       which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the
       most important part of your computer.
       
   Politically Correct Virus:
       Never identifies itself as a virus, but instead refers to itself
       as an "electronic micro-organism".
       
   Texas Virus:
       Makes sure that it is bigger than any other file.
       
   Airline Luggage Virus:
       You are in Dallas but your data is in Singapore.
       
   Freudian Virus:
       Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
       
       And of course
       
   The OJ Virus:
       Kills two of your files then blames it on a Microsoft conspiracy.
       
   
   
   Based on an unoriginal email virus from Nick Butcher, March 1996

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