BILL OF NO RIGHTS....
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any
more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and
secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-
great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and
establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny,
guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal bedwetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people
were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require
a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other
form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them,
but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is
based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just
you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different
opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will
be.
ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a
screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the
tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently
wealthy.
ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are
the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in
need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation
after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing
more than the creation of another generation of professional couch
potatoes.
ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice,
but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in
public health care.
ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you
kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if
the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob,
cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't
be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a
place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or
a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII:
You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives
in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive
governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight
if you'd like; however, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world,
and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and
every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX:
You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to
have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect
you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means
that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a
lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic
laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of
Rights.
If You Agree, We Strongly Urge You To Forward This To As Many
People As You Can. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will
befall you should you not forward it. We just think it is about time
common sense is allowed to flourish.
--Written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye of Cobb County, GA.