This is a step-by-step guide on how to break down the human body from

the full figure into serviceable choice cuts of meat. As in any field,

there are a number of methods to the practice, and you may wish to

view this as a set of suggestions rather than concrete rules. You will

notice that the carving of the larger or "commercial" cuts down into

smaller specific or "retail" cuts will be only mentioned in passing,

and not concentrated upon. Also, the use of human fat and viscera is

generally avoided, and left only to the most experimental chef. These

choices, along with recipes and serving suggestions, are nearly

infinite in variety, and we leave them to you. We've found these

guidelines to be simple and functional, but recognize that there is

always room for improvement and we welcome your suggestions.



Before getting to the main task, it must be mentioned that the

complete rendering of the human carcass requires a fairly large amount

of time, effort, and space. If the consumer does not wish to go

through the ordeal of processing and storing the bulk of the entire

animal, an easy alternative is as follows. Simply saw through one or

both legs at the points directly below the groin and a few inches

above the knee. Once skinned, these portions may then be cut into

round steaks of the carver's preferred thickness, cut into fillets,

deboned for a roast, etc. Meat for several meals is thus readily

obtained without the need for gutting and the complexities of

preparing the entire form.



The human being (also referred to throughout culinary history as "long

pig" and "hairless goat" in the case of younger specimens) is not

generally thought of as a staple food source. Observing the anatomy

and skeleton, one can see that the animal is neither built nor bred

for its meat, and as such will not provide nearly as much flesh as a

pig or cow (for example, an average 1000 pound steer breaks down to

provide 432 pounds of saleable beef). The large central pelvis and

broad shoulder blades also interfere with achieving perfect cuts.

There are advantages to this however, especially due to the fact that

the typical specimen will weigh between 100-200 pounds, easily

manipulated by one person with sufficient leverage.



Here the caution in choosing your meal must be mentioned. It is VERY

IMPORTANT to remember that animals raised for slaughter are kept in

tightly controlled environments with their health and diet carefully

maintained. Humans are not. Thus not only is the meat of each person

of varying quality, but people are also subject to an enormous range

of diseases, infections, chemical imbalances, and poisonous bad

habits, all typically increasing with age. Also as an animal ages, the

meat loses its tenderness, becoming tough and stringy. No farm animal

is ever allowed to age for thirty years. Six to thirteen months old is

a more common slaughtering point. You will obviously want a youthful

but mature physically fit human in apparently good health. A certain

amount of fat is desirable as "marbling" to add a juicy, flavorful

quality to the meat. We personally prefer firm caucasian females in

their early twenties. These are "ripe". But tastes vary, and it is a

very large herd.



The butcher will need a fairly roomy space in which to work (an

interior location is suggested), and a large table for a butcher's

block. A central overhead support will need to be chosen or installed

ahead of time to hang the carcass from. Large tubs or barrels for

blood and waste trimmings should be convenient, and a water source

close by. Most of the work can be done with a few simple tools: sharp,

clean short and long bladed knives, a cleaver or hatchet, and a

hacksaw.



Body Preparation: Acquiring your subject is up to you. For best

results and health, freshness is imperative. A living human in

captivity is optimal, but not always available. When possible make

sure the animal has no food for 48 hours, but plenty of water. This

fasting helps flush the system, purging stored toxins and bodily

wastes, as well as making bleeding and cleaning easier. Under ideal

conditions, the specimen will then be stunned into insensitivity.

Sharp unexpected blows to the head are best, tranquilizers not being

recommended as they may taint the flavor of the meat. If this is not

possible without exciting the animal and causing a struggle (which

will pump a greater volume of blood and secretions such as adrenaline

throughout the body), a single bullet through the middle of the

forehead or back of the skull will suffice.



Hanging: Once the animal is unconscious or dead, it is ready to be

hoisted. Get the feet up first, then the hands, with the head down.

This is called the "Gein configuration". Simple loops of rope may be

tied around the hands and feet and then attached to a crossbar or

overhead beam. Or, by making a cut behind the Achilles tendon, a

meathook may be inserted into each ankle for hanging support. The legs

should be spread so that the feet are outside the shoulders, with the

arms roughly parallel to the legs. This provides access to the pelvis,

and keeps the arms out of the way in a ready position for removal.

It's easiest to work if the feet are slightly above the level of the

butcher's head.



Bleeding: Place a large open vessel beneath the animal's head. With a

long-bladed knife, start at one corner of the jaw and make a deep

"ear-to-ear" cut through the neck and larynx to the opposite side.

This will sever the internal and external carotid arteries, the major

blood vessels carrying blood from the heart to the head, face, and

brain. If the animal is not yet dead, this will kill it quickly, and

allow for the blood to drain in any case. After the initial rush of

blood, the stream should be controllable and can be directed into a

receptacle. Drainage can be assisted by massaging the extremities down

in the direction of the trunk, and by compressing and releasing,

"pumping", the stomach. A mature specimen will contain almost six

liters of blood. There is no use for this fluid, unless some source is

waiting to use it immediately for ritual purposes. It acts as an

emetic in most people if drunk, and it must be mentioned here that

because of the eternal possibility of AIDS it is recommended that for

safety's sake all blood should be considered to be contaminated and

disposed of in some fashion. It is not known whether an HlV-infected

human's flesh is dangerous even if cooked, but this is another item to

consider when choosing a specimen, someone in the low-risk strata.



Beheading: When the bleeding slows, preparation for decapitation can

be started. Continue the cut to the throat around the entire neck,

from the jawline to the back of the skull. Once muscle and ligament

have been sliced away, the head can be cleanly removed by gripping it

on either side and twisting it off, separation occurring where the

spinal cord meets the skull. This is indicative of the method to be

used for dividing other bones or joints, in that the meat should

generally be cut through first with a knife, and the exposed bone then

separated with a saw or cleaver. The merits of keeping the skull as a

trophy are debatable for two principal reasons. First, a human skull

may call suspicious attention to the new owner. Secondly, thorough

cleaning is difficult due to the large brain mass, which is hard to

remove without opening the skull. The brain is not good to eat.

Removing the tongue and eyes, skinning the head, and placing it

outside in a wire cage may be effective. The cage allows small

scavengers such as ants and maggots to cleanse the flesh from the

bones, while preventing it being carried off by larger scavengers,

such as dogs and children. After a sufficient period of time, you may

retrieve the skull and boil it in a dilute bleach solution to

sterilize it and wash away any remaining tissue.



Skinning: After removing the head, wash the rest of the body down.

Because there is no major market for human hides, particular care in

removing the skin in a single piece is not necessary, and makes the

task much easier. The skin is in fact a large organ, and by flaying

the carcass you not only expose the muscular configuration, but also

get rid of the hair and the tiny distasteful glands which produce

sweat and oil. A short-bladed knife should be used to avoid slicing

into muscle and viscera. The skin is composed of two layers, an outer

thinner one with a thicker tissue layer below it. When skinning, first

score the surface, cutting lightly to be sure of depth and direction.

The diagram of the skinning pattern is an example of strip-style

skinning, dividing the surface into portions easy to handle. Reflect

the skin by lifting up and peeling back with one hand, while bringing

the knife in as flat to the skin as possible to cut away connective

tissue. The external genitals present only a small obstacle. In the

male the penis and scrotum can be pulled away from the body and

severed, in the female the outer lips skinned as the rest of the body.

It is important to leave the anus untouched at this point, and a

circle of skin should be left around it. You need not bother skinning

the hands and feet, these portions not being worth the effort unless

you plan to pickle them or use them in soup. The skin can be disposed

of, or made into fried rinds. Boil the strips and peel away the outer

layer, then cut into smaller pieces and deep-fat fry in boiling oil

until puffy and crisp. Dust with garlic salt, paprika and cayenne

pepper.



Gutting: The next major step is complete evisceration of the carcass.

To begin, make a cut from the solar plexus, the point between the

breastbone and stomach, almost to the anus. Be very careful not to cut

into the intestines, as this will contaminate the surrounding area

with bacteria and possibly feces (if this does happen, cleanse

thoroughly). A good way to avoid this is to use the knife inside the

abdominal wall, blade facing toward you, and making cautious progress.





Make a cut around the anus, or "bung", and tie it off with twine. This

also prevents contamination, keeping the body from voiding any

material left in the bowel. With a saw, cut through the pubic bone, or

"aitch". The lower body is now completely open, and you can begin to

pull the organ masses (large and small intestines, kidneys, liver,

stomach) out and cut them away from the back wall of the body.



For the upper torso, first cut through the diaphragm around the inner

surface of the carcass. This is the muscular membrane which divides

the upper, or thoracic, and the lower abdominal cavities. Remove the

breastbone, cutting down to the point on each side where it connects

to the ribs, and then sawing through and detaching it from the collar

bone. Some prefer to cut straight through the middle, depending on the

ideas you have for cuts in the final stages. The heart and lungs may

be detached and the throat cut into to remove the larynx and trachea.

Once all of the inner organs have been removed, trim away any blood

vessels or remaining pieces of connective tissue from the interior of

the carcass, and wash out thoroughly.



Remove the Arms: Actual butchering of the carcass is now ready to

begin. Cut into the armpit straight to the shoulder, and remove the

arm bone, the humerus, from the collar bone and shoulder blade. Chop

the hand off an inch or so above the wrist. Most of the meat here is

between elbow and shoulder, as the muscle groups are larger here and

due to the fact that there are two bones in the forearm. Another way

of cutting this portion is to cut away the deltoid muscle from the

upper arm near the shoulder (but leaving it attached to the trunk)

before removing the limb. This decreases the percentage of useable

meat on the arm, but allows a larger shoulder strip when excising the

shoulder blade. Purely a matter of personal preference. Cut into and

break apart the joint of the elbow, and the two halves of each arm are

now ready for carving servings from. Human flesh should always be

properly cooked before eating.



Halving the Carcass: The main body is now ready to be split. Some like

to saw straight through the spine from buttocks to neck. This leaves

the muscle fiber encasing the vertebrae on the end of the ribs. The

meat here however is tightly wrapped about the bone, and we find it

more suitable (if used at all) when boiled for soup. Thus, our

preferred method is to completely remove the entire backbone by

cutting and then sawing down either side from the tailbone on through.





Quartering the Carcass: The halves may now be taken down, unless your

preparation table or butcher block is very short. This is inadequate,

and you will have to quarter while hanging, slicing through the side

at a point of your choosing between rib cage and pelvis. Now is also

the time to begin thinking about how you would like to serve the

flesh, as this will determine the style of cuts you are about to make.

These will also be greatly affected by the muscular configuration

(physical fitness) of your specimen. First, chop the feet off at a

point about three inches up from the ankle. The bones are very thick

where the leg connects to the foot. You will want to divide the side

of meat into two further principal portions: the ribs and shoulder,

and the half-pelvis and leg. In between is the "flank" or belly, which

may be used for fillets or steaks, if thick enough, or even bacon

strips if you wish to cut this thinly. Thin and wide strips of flesh

may also be rolled, and cooked to serve as a roast. Trim away along

the edge of the ribs, and then decide whether you will cut steaks from

the flank into the thighs and rump, and carve accordingly.



Cutting the Top Quarter: Although not actually 25% of the meat you

will get, this is designated as one-fourth of the carcass as divided

into major portions. You may trim away the neck, or leave it to be

connected with the shoulder, or "chuck". The first major step with

this mass is to remove the shoulder blade and the collar bone. The

best and easiest way we have found is to just cut along the outline of

the shoulder blade, removing the meat on top and then dislocating the

large bone. To excise the collar bone make an incision along its

length and then cut and pry it away. Depending upon the development of

the breast, you may decide it qualifies as a "brisket" and remove it

before cutting the ribs. In the female the breast is composed largely

of glands and fatty tissue, and despite its appetizing appearance is

rather inedible. The ribs are the choice cut of the quarter. An

perennial favorite for barbecuing, you may divide into sections of

several ribs each and cook them as is, divide the strip in half for

shorter ribs, or even carve rib steaks if the muscle mass is

sufficient.



Cutting the Lower Quarter: This is where most of the meat is, humans

being upright animals. The muscle mass is largest in the legs and

rump. The bulk is so comparatively large here that you can do just

about anything with it. The main pieces are the buttock or rump and

 the upper leg, the thigh. Our typical division is to cut the leg off

at the bottom of the buttock, then chop away the bony mass of the

knee, at places two to three inches away in either direction. Before

doing this, however, you may want to remove the whole calf muscle from

the back of the lower leg, as this is the best cut in its area. The

upper leg is now ready for anything, most especially some beautiful,

thick round steaks. The rump will have to be carved from the pelvis in

a rather triangular piece. The legs attach at the hip at a forward

point on the body, so there will be little interference as you carve

along the curve of the pelvis. Remaining meat will be on the thighs in

front of the pelvis.



And that's basically it. An average freezer provides plenty of storage

space, or you may even wish to build a simple old-fashioned smokehouse

(just like an outhouse, with a stone firepit instead of a shitter).

Offal and other waste trimmings can be disposed of in a number of

ways, burial, animal feed, and puree and flush being just a few. Bones

will dry and become brittle after being baked an oven, and can be

pulverized.