| Inspired
by Stick Figure Death Theatre --
http://how.to/procrastinate
| Last
Updated Sept 28, 2002
|
Note from Malcolm on September 28 or so, 2002: Our
forwarding address, headlid.com, no longer works, so we may no longer be reached
that way. We have a new, super-chouette forwarding address, which is http://how.to/procrastinate
-- pretty cool, huh? On icons with original artwork (e.g. not Yoko), you
will see a garishly placed URL. This page has been a mess for a while, and we
need to let people know we're still here, and how they can get here. Thanks for
understanding. Lastly, NEW CARTOONS! YAY! see Dog With Human Hands and Malcolm
Has Grown Complacent. These are both by Malcolm. Give Matt and Neel a hard time
if you see them. Two stores to check out: http://www.cafepress.com/headlid
and http://www.cafepress.com/ilovelove
That is all. We/I can still be reached at milkmandan at yahoo.com
Glorious Capitalism! Buddae Icons! For your AwOL
Instant Messenger!
Just click on 'em to set your buddy icon! We have: (1) The Great Movies [Citizen
Kane, Casablanca, Happy Gilmore], (2) Fightin' Friends [from a video game... name
the game and you win a prize!], (3) Oh no, Yoko (4) Evil E.T and (5) Le Bonhomme
de Neige
Oh God What Could Be Worse? A Dog With HUMAN HANDS!
He's so, so evil.
Malcolm Has Grown Complacent
This is based on something Matt and I used to say. I'm afraid it's not any more
complicated than that. Meet some new friends, and say hey to some old ones.
Our Cool Link Button
Hey, put this button on your homepage. Save the button, ourbutton.gif and upload
it into whatever directory you have your webpage in/on. We've already got the
code set up for you. Just click on the button above.
Blind Date
One of our pals from a different dorm made this. This is his first cartoon.
The Mirror
You never know what can happen... in the mirror!
The Real Adventures of Lewis and Clark
Once again, exams have fostered misplaced productivity. Here's a story about
the Lewis and Clark Expedition.
Spot's Day Out
The ill-fated road trip of Spot, a former police dog used asa stand-in for Huggy
Bear on TV's Starsky and Hutch
The Ill-Fated Frisbee Toss
Anything can happen out there. See for yourself.
From the archives
Wow, I'd forgotten about this one. There's a twist of fate for you. Anyhow,
here it is, the very first SFDT-Inspired cartoon we ever made. Don't expect
to be blown away.
The Fight, The Brawl, whatever you want to call it
The epic struggle of ... a long-awaited ... it's three guys beating each other
up, what more do you want?
Homage to Matt Calvert
This is our way of saying thanks to the man who started it all. You're still
the best!
Le Bonhomme de Neige
I would like to apologize right now to anyone who has ever been to the Winter
Canada in Quebec whom I am about to offend with this cartoon. Please keep in
mind that we are in fact huge fans of the Bonhomme de Neige, and hold nothing
against him. Our inspiration was simple, one thinks of some wild stuff while
staring at a French book first thing Monday morning. We realize that he is indeed
a caring, friendly snowman in real life. We thank you for understanding.
Louis Souris
The Psycho Mouse. A loveable character from my 5th grade french book who seemed
too nice to be anything but a sadist. Note: the individual on the right is a
character in the book, Madame Claire-Voyante, and not my french teacher.
The Basic Theatrics of Stick Figure Death Theatre
An analysis of various animation techniques.
Slowly But Surely
A rather peculiar and not overly complicated cartoon created to illustrate the
many uses of GIF Animator.
Skater
Courtesy of Neel, who lives upstairs. This is his first masterpiece. He doesn't
like it that much anymore, but everyone else thinks that artistically, it's
very sound.
The Comet
Neel's second melodrama about a comet, fun for the whole family.
The Cloud
Matt (my neighbor)'s masterpiece. He started it "in an attempt to beat every
cartoon [I] had."
Return of the Cloud
I felt the Cloud needed some more screen time. As far as I'm concerned, he never
left us.
Matt's Disclaimer
Matt's attempt to make up for the damage he has caused. Matt's not crazy about
this one, but we feel its only fair to leave these things up once they're put
up.
The Dangers of Cold Season
I'd like to say this was one of the first ones I did, but it's not. In fact,
it's pretty new considering I haven't finished one in almost a year. Anyway,
this was funnier to think about than to actually make. Like Matt's Disclaimer,
this will remain up. (Damn...)
Malcolm's Untimely Death
Matt's chilling vision.
Matt's Untimely Death
Matt lives down the hall. This is my revenge for "Malcolm's Untimely Death."
The Eye
Another one of Matt's charming romances.
Our old banner
LinkExchange approved our site but could not include a violent scene in their
advertising network. So here it is.
A collection of cartoons from our friends on dorm and folks who requested to
be here. We should be seeing them on Calvert.com's Fan Movies before too long.
If your computer's as slow as mine, it would be in your best interests to download
these first and then run them from the hard drive.
| Added
Menu For Your Convenience
|
3/3/99 -- We've decided to add a menu in order
to clean things up a little. The first group of section titles is a list of the
sections here on the main page. They are listed in the order in which they appear.
The second group contains links to secondary pages. These should be underlined,
however Internet Explorer is known for doing otherwise. In the future, you will
find important news briefs below the list.
- IBSFDT Collection in its entirety
- Convenient Menu
- Mailing List signup
- Create Your Own
- Important Announcement Regarding Work Ethic (Summer '98)
- Our Favorites/Links
- Sales Pitch Section
- Legal Section
- Author Information, an index of who did what, who's
older than who, and so on...
- Our Friends, a growing collection from fans,
guys on dorm, etc...
- Write to us, we love letters.
Effective last summer, we also answer them. (If you're still waiting on a
response, please drop us a line.)
with Microsoft GIF Animator. Click HERE
to download.
You must have at least Windows 95 or NT to operate. I'm afraid I can't really
offer support on how to use this. The instructions will do a fine job of telling
you how to use it. Here are two hints:
- Learn all the keyboard shortcuts for cutting, pasting, and selecting all.
Using those three shortcuts will greatly reduce the risk of clicking and moving
your selectionb efore you transfer it to the GIF Animator and thus ruining
your flow.
- Always have an ending frame for your animation, even if it's just a blank
one that you delete later. The reason for this is that any image pasted in
is pasted above the selected frame. If you are going in order down the line,
you'd expect to be able to click on the last frame and paste the new frame
in right below it. You can't. So that's why you have a throwaway frame at
the end.
This program is not shareware. It is freeware. Once you learn to use it, you'll
agree with me about this being the best .gif program around. If you find that
the soft-seek link doesn't work, first double-check by going to their homepage
and running a search, then write me and let me know. I've got an extra copy.
| This
Important Announcement -- circa Summer '98
|
Good Day. This is Malcolm talking. With your permission, I'd like to wax nostalgic
for a few minutes before I actually try to make a point. Something in the neighborhood
of six months ago, we started this page from scratch, with only a mouse, an ill-fated
skater, and my own untimely death to carry our weight. A few weeks later, we were
accepted into the fanmovies section of the very popular Stick FigureDeath Theatre's
website. Since then we've grossed almost 20,000 hits and 200 random clicks-thrus
via LinkExchange. It's been fun. It's been a lot of fun, actually.
About a month ago I was touched by a letter from someone who just happened to
see our banner on a page he was browsing. He was intrigued,and surfed over to
our homepage. He said something like "I got a kick out of it, keep it up!" Short
and sweet and to the point.
No "PRiNs oF DarKNiSs Is KewL."
No "Come drink curdled goat's bloodin my underground pain domain."
Just "That was funny." This guy knew exactly what we were after. Funny. Fun. No
deeply-layered cult newsletter, just lighthearted but dangerously un-PC, semi-shockvalue
humor in the style of Itchy and Scratchy. Yes, it IS extremely twisted and out
there. Twisted humor. Please don't take anything you see here too seriously,
because that's not what we're trying to project.
That covers the first item. Next on the agenda: SEMI-RETIREMENT. What I
mean by this is as follows: No more, no more, NO more, not one more single
minute of my time am I wasting trying to think of a clever name that doesn't fit
something, or making five extra animations in one afternoon to draw bulk attention
to the page, or anything that falls under "publicity stunt."I will do everything
possible to make sure the page stays up. Forever. By no means are we shutting
down. But don't expect us to crank out some "obligation cartoon" every three weeks
or anything like that. If something goes up, it's because one of us felt inspired
to make a cartoon. I'm sick and tired of feeling the need to comprimise quality
to compete with all the other pages out there. ....So back to what I was saying:
- Don't expect overdriven productivity. We're enjoying ourselves from now
on.
- Join the newsletter if you haven't already. As always, you won't get a message
unless there's a good reason for it. 99 times out of 100 it meansa new cartoon.
- If you don't get a reply during the summer, don't be offended. I work away
from home and school during the summer, and henceforth sans-computer. Feel
free to save the message and send it again after 60 days. My messages expire
kind of quick.
- If you don't get a reply any other time, don't be offended. In fact, it
probably means I just didn't get it, cause I check my mail far more often
than necessary. I reserve the right to put off a reply forever, but as long
as I'm connected and there's a good reason to get back to you, it's at the
top of my list. ... (The previous two messages do still apply. However, we
have taken steps to make sure that we won't lose any more messages. We experienced
complications with our previous address, which was our own fault and not USA.net's.
To be more specific, this was the same address we used to subscribe to newsletters,
etc, so we ended up with a lot of junk/porno mail that ended up being deleted,
along with a fair amount of fan mail. For this we apologize. So that's why
we're going with [email protected] instead. This is an address that we
intend to use solely for the purpose answering this page's email. We'll check
it at least once a week. From here on out be assured that, at very least,
we will get your messages. To everyone out there who wrote to us and is still
awaiting a reply, we're very sorry. We're trying to recover some of the lost
messages, but the fact remains we just had too much junk going through the
old address. Thanks for understanding.)
- Updates to the page itself (dead links for instance) are also a tricky subject
during the off-season. The 'puter I'm working on right now is half my age.
I'll do my best. The thing to remember here is that we're not bailing, we
just don't have time to waste trying to be the most popular knock-off stick
figure page. You deserve our best effort, not our best face forward.
That should have covered it, but I want to talk some more. We've been asked why
we don't have a more original name. Why are we "Inspired by..." Well, cause we
are. It wasn't our idea. While none of us were new to flip books,the idea of putting
them on a computer came from none other than Stick Figure Death Theatre. The Original
SFDT. As exams started to wear us thin, we dealt with our frustration and boredom
by throwing together these animations.
We put our toons on the net to save diskette space, and so that friends back home
could bask in the fruits of our mid-exam fallout. A LinkExchange banner seemed
like a fun idea, and then one day we find ourselves listed at the Theatre itself,
with 70 brand new hits from total strangers insteadof 50 from my reload button.
We never thought we'd be so popular that we'd actually need an flashy new name.
We were in the right place at the right time, 'cause we'd just stumbled on the
right stuff. We have three people and thus 3x the drawing power, a wealth of HTML
experience (including a slew of attractive but worthless web page ventures on
my part), but most importantly, a passion for our work. To put it another way,
we've got a lot of cartoons, and the really bad ones aren't even here.
The fame we shared was extremely cool (paramounting at 377 hits in one day), but
in the end it's just a number. As soon as we forget our motives and contemplate
ditching our sponsor, we become typecast. Just another box of Toasted Oats, which
are affordable and decent tasting, but never quite measure up to the one and only
Cheerios.
In closing, we're still here for you, we still love you. We've simply seenthe
error in our ways, and therefore choose not to go on furiously checkingour stats
every waking hour and then gorging ourselves on Ben & Jerry's before dialing up
the hitman whenour average drops. We're not living off of this, so why should
we act like it? From here on out, we're having fun, so should you, so make sure
you're on the mailing list, tell your friends (the ones who burn incense cause
it smells good), come back and visit us here any time, and do your best
to learn from our mistakes, 'cause there's no sense in making business out of
pleasure.
--== ==--
Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm much younger than that now
Bob Dylan, My Back Pages
--== ==--
Well, Mr. Calvert's spruced up his site, so some of these links might not be applicable.
But here they are anyway.
Take a trip to Stick Figure Death Theatre and
go to Fan Movies. Then look up:
- Smiley Man Death Theater March 22, 1998 by Matthew Meek
- Stick Fighter Turbo Ultimate Final Showdown January 23, 1998
by Alex
- America's Funniest Guillotine Accidents January 23, 1998 by
Jeff Nusz
- Disgruntled Postman January 23, 1998 by Paul Bratcher
- Something Completely Different March 22, 1998 by Dan
- Die Hippie Die March 22, 1998 by Marquis
- StickBabyCha March 22, 1998 by Teitlebaum
- Knife1 April 10, 1998 by MDMB
Don't forget to take a look at the Our Friends section.
I recommend Rob the Golfer.
Normally in this space you would see a cartoon from John Callahan. We've decided
to discontinue displaying his cartoons directly on our page. This is not because
our feelings have changed one way or the other, but because we felt that that
was contradicting our declared values. All the same, we're definately linking
to his site and a number of others who more or less share our views.
Oh. We also wanted to talk about linking to us really briefly. If you would like
to put a link to our page, we are fine with you using one of our banners or buttons,
but only under these conditions:
- Write us and let us know (at [email protected])
- Use one of the images specified here: The Viewer-Friendly
Banner, An older version of the Viewer-Friendly
Banner, Our original (rejected) banner, or our
Mailing-List Button
- The link has to go to us (sorry)
- The image must not be altered in any way. ..well, if you have a good reason
for changing the size or putting some border around it, I guess that's okay,
but write and get our approval first.
mollie
moore armstrong paintings
We are not trying to promote violence. This page contains strictly cartoon violence,
which serves to mock our society rather than glamourize killing people. We're
not after showing the full consequences of violent behavior, we just want to provide
the web with something slightly out of the ordinary.
Please do not feel free to use our gifs. The animations here contained are the
property of the individual authors. If you want to use
something we've done, let us know. We're reasonable people. (This means you, Anthony
Newman.)
Inspired by Stick
Figure Death Theatre, Established Spring 1998. Though living on the median
of this highway we call Mainstream Twisted Humor, we pledge to do our best to
ensure that IBSFDT will remain a blemish on the face of the Internet for many
years to come.
http://www.fortunecity.com/bennyhills/hardy/56/
http://members.fortunecity.com/kingtalc/
http://how.to/procrastinate
Should you feel the need to send us feedback,
we can be reached at [email protected]
If you see our site mentioned somewhere, please let us know!
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city that never sleeps.
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