| It shouldn't come as a surprise
to those of you who are frequent late night cappers to learn that Artanas
is going through something of an Amplewoman mania. It seems everywhere
the plucky capper looks visions of Amplewoman dance in his head, and as
scary as dancing Amplewomen may seem, that is only the tip of the iceberg!
What is surprising is that this isn't a isolated occurrence! A chief psychiatric
specialist we talked to informed us that it is fairly common in certain
cases, to form a kind of dementia they like to call 'Ample on the Brain',
this transformation is as baffling as it is complete, take a look at the
picture of an Ampledementia infected brain. Note the startling resemblance?
While it is somewhat contagious, doctors say the best course of action
is to let the dementia run it's course, the only true cure is rest, relaxation,
and a good strong dose of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and/or
TV special.
But what if the Ampledementia doesn't simply run it's course? Extremely baffling to doctors are the so called AmpleSculptures, according to the expert we spoke with, "The dementia has never manifested the desire to recreate the image of AmpleWoman before. For most it is simply traumatic enough to see AmpleWoman in almost everything they look at, it also causes the brain to send out certain muscle inhibitors that in strong cases act as a kind of local anesthetic stopping most motor skills. One would think forming a AmpleSculpture from tapioca pudding would at least cause a low level coma! Why, one patient suffering from Ampledementia merely overheard us talking about the sculpture made from sour Jell-O pudding and he went into spastic convulsions!". |
Ample on the Brain? 
Think about it, won't you? Thank You. |
