"As usual we are using 35% of our budget for Sci-Fi Originals, programming such as Sliders, Mystery Science Theater, and frankly all the castoffs we can get our hands on, as well as Sci-Fi Original Movies, Movies deemed to bad to be features, and without enough nudity to be viable pay cable entertainment. We are upping our expenditure for second run TV shows and Movies to 45%, most of the increase is for the very expensive process we put old Star Trek episodes through to make it safe to watch William Shatner for such a prolonged period of time". Some reporters used the anonymity of the darkness to burst into a round of applause, after they quieted down Linda continued, "We are also securing the rights to the basic cable premiers of big box office films such as Mimic and The Relic." I think a Television set was turned on at this point, this reporter couldn't really see any action, and it only lit up the room slightly, but there were lots of screaming noises, so either it was a clip of Mimic or The Relic, or a clip of people in a darkened room being forced to watch Mimic or The Relic. Linda quickly stopped the tape and concluded, "And that leaves 15% for promos, the Dominion, etc. and 5% for employees salaries. Any questions?". 

   Some questions of great import were asked, You had said there would be donuts, where are they? Is the bar complimentary? Why don't you guys have a buffet at these things like they do at the USA Network press conferences? And finally it was this reporters turn at the podium, "Hello Miss Silvers, Captioneer News, let me get right to the point, what do you have against light? Are ya'll vampires or something?", without an answer I was quickly escorted out of the room and barred from further proceedings, which I can only assume must have been some nightmarish orgy of the undead, concluding in the guzzling of virgin blood. So there you have it, Captioneer News is again at the forefront, blowing the lid off yet another hot story.