Just who is that dashing young man that women swoon over and men envy? I'm not sure. Our editor on the other hand is a self admitted cantankerous old man who doesn't take no guff from nobody! However, we here at Captioneer News can't help but love him, cause otherwise he'd have us all fired. Actually the more time you spend with him, you couldn't help but be won over by his homespun wisdom, and imaginary elf swatting ways. In a very real way, he's the glue that holds Captioneer News together, which, as one staff (who wishes to remain anonymous) puts it "Is very scary, if you think about it"    But our Editor in Chief insists he's not just another pretty face! Truly his modesty knows no bounds, whether it's championing little known causes like fighting celibacy and abstinence or raising funds to shut down orphanages as part of his worldwide organization N.I.M.B.Y.M.F., he never likes to let an hour of the day go to waste! He recalls, "I fell asleep once in the late 20's next thing I knew the stock market crashed and the great depression was upon us! All because of the elf that I wasn't awake to swat! I believe her name was Stinkerball."

Perhaps you've seen one of our editors many promotional ads. Here he secretly fights celibacy and abstinence while hiding behind the guise of promoting "the other white meat".

Times were simpler then, but that doesn't slow our Editor in Chief down! "I still like to hit the clubs, I can't move like I used to, but I keep up!" When asked about his musical preferences he responded, "Oh, just about anything, but not that god awful swing! It was lousy back then and it's even lousier now, like Celine Dion on acid! Give me a Rage Against the Machine mosh pit any day!",  truly our Editor in Chief is a modern day renaissance man. Not to appear to big for his britches, our editor claims he owes it all to the little people, whose tiny shattered bodies he anoints himself with everyday to keep his youthful exuberance. But life isn't all rave dances and elf carcass facials insists our Editor in Chief, "I try to schedule my time so that I get at least three hours a week to indulge in something that's far more then a hobby to me, Motion Sickness Bag Collecting!". And before we could learn anymore he rushed off, claiming there was a MSB Convention in Peoria he was guest of honor at. How could you not gaze upon him in awe?

Getting Jiggy Wit It

Biohazardous waste... cracks me up every time!

A sick bag to really show off your sick in!

My only true Children!

"I'm strong! Like a Bear! Grrr." "My shoes hurt!"