Reports are sketchy at this time, but Captioneer News has learned that residual resident Captioneer Keogh has filed a cease and desist order over various Cappers flagrant and libelous use of his name and or likeness! A lawyer we recently talked to stated "Well of course a long and drawn out lawsuit is the next logical step, why do you think lawyers charge by the hour?", and sure enough later in the day our Newscopter pilot spotted what he believed to be Keogh's car engaged in an average speed transit on a local freeway. Our newscopter followed the vehicle until it pulled into a parking structure across the street from what we believe to be the Ninth District Court-House. When later questioned Newscopter pilot Race Weatherbee noted, "I'm pretty sure it was Keogh, I didn't really get a good look at him, or his car, but that seems to be his MO. I am however reasonably sure he went into the Court-House building though, that or the Starbucks around the corner".     But why file the cease and desist order and later the lawsuit in the first place? Keoghs spokesperson said, "At first Keogh didn't know what to make of all the attention paid to his tendency to get, and cap bad screen grabs. Then he felt honored, but lately he has felt it's nothing but a distraction. He was telling me the other day how he made what he thought was a hilarious Tom Skerrit caption, only to have it ignored and virtually swept off the page by row upon row of 'Keogh Game show' captions, many of them having him say things he wouldn't say in a million years to his worst enemy who was spitting on his mothers grave." When we later called back to confirm some story elements, we found the number the self alleged spokesperson had given us, was in fact a number for a gay phone sex line, so we can neither confirm nor deny the charges, as we might have written the number down wrong, it was hard to hear her, it was a bad connection. We however can confirm the whopping $84.95 in charges Race Weatherbee racked up to said gay phone sex line, for what he calls 'research'.

File Photo of Keogh Ninth District Court-House

The Cease and Desist Order... we think

Already the Cappers are fighting back, placing on retainer Joules Cochran, Johnny Cochran's illegitimate son. Joules has no formal law training, and dropped out of High School in his Sophomore year when plagued by a horrible slump in his GPA. Joules isn't letting his lack of schooling affect him though, and has shown spirit remarkably similar to his fathers, quickly coining the term, "If the Caption fits, you must Acquit!". When we ask Joules if he would attempt to play up a race card, he replied that he did not have a race car to play with. It is unknown at this time weather Keogh plans to counter with the illegitimate offspring of another Dream Team member, or shoot the moon, and hire a direct descendant. A trial hasn't even started yet, and already several experts are estimating the cost to be in the area of several billion, siting that lots of lawyers like to file pointless motion after pointless motion in an attempt to up their earnings, and often discuss courtroom attendees poor dressing habit during  lengthy sidebars and visits to the bench. Things are moving along so fast and furious here it's hard to tell what exactly is going on, but by the time the dust settles and we can get a clearer indication of the story here, we will be the first to bring it to you. That is, if there is a story here... Not like we make all this stuff up or anything, but you know, it's like that whole Arms for Hostages story back in the '80's, sometimes there's just really nothing to report.