Attention all windows 98 users! I just got this information and had to
make sure that I passed the warning as quickly as I could.
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition
of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If
you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help
understanding the commands.
The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
It reads WINDERS 98, with a background picture of the General Lee
super imposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke
screen saver.
Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called
This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys,
Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred
to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole plactic disc
thangs.
Other features: instead of a error message you get a winder covered
with a garbage bag and duct tape.
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = aww shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
back = back yonder
help = hep me out here
stop = ternit off
start = crank it up
settings = sittins
programs = stuff at does stuff
documents = stuff I done done
Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or
punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98:
tiperiter = A word processor
colering book = a graphics program
addin mershene = calculator
outhouse paper = notepad
jupe-box = CD Player
iner-net = Microsoft Explorer
pichers = A graphics viewer
IRS = M/S accounting software
IRS2 = M/S accounting software with hidden files
coon dog = American kennel club records
fishin = Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records
NRA = National Rifle Association
shot gun = Remington Arms price list
riffel = Winchester price list
pisstel = Smith & Wesson price list
truck = Ford &Chevrolet dealers in AL by zip code
house = Nearest Mobile home repair service by zip code
car = same as truck just need two list in Alabama
cuzzins = family history usually a 3 meg file
tax records = usually an empty file
shells = ammunition inventory another 3 meg file
bud = list of Budwiser dealers by zip code
rasin = NASCAR racing schedule includes list of TV stations that carry
the race car n truck
Parts = nearest Junk yard by zip code
doc = veterinarians by zip code
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy
of the Alabama edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a
replacement version.