for Thursday, July 9, 1998



Breech Delivery

One day, a cattle farmer heard one of his cows lowing out in the north forty (the mudpit behind the barn). It sounded like she was in hard labor. He went out, and, sure enough, it was a breech. He tried to turn the calf around, but it was too late -- the legs were already coming out. All he could do was pull on the legs to assist in the birth.

This field was right next to the interstate, and a red car stopped, whereupon this woman (librarian type, with the glasses and bun) jumped out and said, "Is there anything I can do to assist?"

The farmer said, "Yes, please! Grab a leg and pull!"

So they both pulled, and they were able to get the calf out. The farmer, very grateful, said, "Wait a minute while I run back and get my wallet -- I owe you for this."

"Oh, no, I wouldn't dream of accepting any recompense for this service. However, there is one question you can answer for me."

"Anything!"

"How fast was the little one going when it ran into the big one?"


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