Woody Allen Virus
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
Tonya Harding Virus
Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.
Paul Revere Virus
Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\
Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus
Instantly turns 1K of disk space into 1 Meg.
Ollie North Virus
Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files.
Joey Buttafuaco Virus
Only attacks minor files.
Michael Jackson Virus
Preys on child processes.
Ronald Reagan Virus
Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.
Jane Fonda Virus
Attacks your hard drive's FAT.
Oprah Winfrey virus
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly
expands to 300MB before shrinking back to 80MB.
AT&T Virus
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI Virus
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the
AT&T virus.
Politically Correct Virus
Never calls itelf a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an
"electronic miroorganism."
Ross Perot Virus
Activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn
thing quits.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Government Economist Virus
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is
fine.
Fedeal Bueaurocrat Virus
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which
does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most
important part of your computer.
Adam and Eve Virus
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer.
Congressional Virus #1
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message
appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Congressional Virus #2
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow
the user to accomplish anything.
Airline Virus
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Freudian Virus
Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard. Or becomes
very jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive. So this is
what's wrong with my computer, PAX!
PBS Virus
Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus
Your programs disappear, never to be found again.
LAPD Virus
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases
them in "self-defense."
O.J. Virus
It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your
files and vows to find the virus that did it.
- Thomas Mullaney ([email protected])