A (supposedly) true story:
A friend of a guy in the Nutrition School at Tufts was one of the
lucky passengers onboard a Northwest Airlines flight to Boston during
hurricane "Bob".
The captain did his best to skirt the edge of the storm, but it was a
pretty rough ride just the same - rough enough that the flight
attendants were ordered to strap themselves into their seats for about
half an hour, and many of the passengers were putting the little
plastic-lined bags in their seat pockets to good use.
When the turbulence finally abated, the flight attendants unbuckled
themselves, and the captain's voice came on over the intercom.
"Well, folks, that was quite some ride, wasn't it? But we came through
it fine, just the way we always do, and I'm happy to report that it
looks like the remainder of our trip should be much calmer. On behalf
of myself and today's flight crew, I'd like to thank you very much for
your calmness and cooperation, and extend our best wishes for a
pleasant stay in Boston.
(after a short pause and several clicks)
"Jesus Christ - whadda bitchin' ride! Boy - I sure could use a cup of
good strong coffee and a blowjob right about now!"
As a stricken stewardess dashed up the aisle to the cabin to inform
the captain that his intercom was still on, one of the passengers
called after her: "Don't forget the coffee!"