for Monday, June 1, 1998



Seinfeld Guide To Sex

Backed Up: Glandular condition that men get from not having sex.

Bad Breaker-Upper: Someone who ends a relationship by saying those mean things that people don't mean - but means them.

Home-Bed Advantage: The confident feeling one gets while making love in one's own surroundings.

"It didn't take": George's explanation for Susan's short-lived experimentation with lesbianism.

The "It's-not-you-it's-me" routine: Breakup method to which George lays claim.

Love: A spice with many tastes, according to Newman.

Make-up Sex: The best feature of a heavy relationship; eclipsed only by "conjugal-visit sex".

Master of your Domain: One who can refrain from masturbation. (Also: Lord of the Manor, King of the County, Queen of the castle.)

Public Fornicator: A porn actor.

Put in: The length of time one has to keep up a relationship after a sexual liaison. Elaine suggests three weeks.

Sexual Camel: Someone who can go great lengths of time without sex.

Sexual Perjury: Faking it.

Shrinkage: Physical reaction men have to cold water.

Slip One Past the Goalie: To impregnate a woman.

Stopping Short: Frank Costanza's technique to cop a feel in the car.

The Switch: Dating a woman, then dating her roommate after the breakup. Has never been done successfully.

The Tap: Sign a woman uses to stop oral sex, sort of like the manager coming to the mound and asking for the ball.

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