"Reverend," Mrs Jones said, " I have a problem-my husband keeps falling
asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I
do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with, you. I'll
be able to tell when Mr Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you
at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg
with the pin."
In church the following Sunday, Mr Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the
preacher put his plan to work. "...And who made the ultimate
sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs Jones.
"Jesus!" cried Mr Jones as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the
hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr Jones," said the minister.
Soon, Mr Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is
your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs Jones.
"God!" cried out Mr Jones as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again, Mr. Jones," said the minister, smiling and continuing
his sermon.
Before long, Mr Jones dozed off again. However, this time the
minister didn't notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he
made a few motions that Mrs Jones mistook as signals to wake her
husband again.
She was just sticking her husband with the hatpin again when the
minister asked, "...And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him
his 99th son?"
Mr Jones shrieked, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more
time and I'll break it off and shove it up your ass!!!!"
The sermon was over.