In the beginning, there was nothing but Apple. And the PC was without
form and void, and the darkness was on the face of its hard drive. And
Bill said, Let there be DOS: And there was DOS. And Bill looked upon
it, and it was good, and with it the PC slew the Apple. And DOS grew
and grew, until its number was legion if you counted the decimal
points, and still it was good.
And Bill grew large with ambition, and he decreed there should be a
processor of words; and lo, there was Word. And Bill sayeth, Let there
be a thingy for the crunching of numbers, and lo, there was Excel, and
did his kingdom grow apace.
But there had arisen in the land the thing called Macintosh, sprung
from the intransigent Apple-men, and Bill looked upon it, and it was
better.
Rapidly did he decree that Word should be made to run upon it, and
after that Excel, and then all the other fruits of his efforts, but
still he was wrathful.
So Bill did order his minions to come forth with Windows, and when
they did, he looked upon it, and it was bad.
So he sent them back to try again, assuring all the world they would
get it right this time, yet they did not.
Unrelenting, Bill forced yet a third mighty blow, and when it came
forth, Bill did order his trumpets to blow, and his chorus to sing,
and his criers to cry, until the din could be heard throughout the
land; and when he looked upon this third version of Windows, he saw it
was not all that great, but like hotcakes did it sell.
And thus did Bill gloat, for the world proclaimed he had matched the
lowly Macintosh, and his praises were sung throughout the land.
And so he ordered another, mightier, more magnificent version made,
and his henchmen and henchwomen did labor hard.
Still it was not forthcoming in the year promised, nor the year
promised next, and rumors did abound, and magazines did overflow with
secret peeks, and columnists did heap their scorn upon it. And came
the minions of the Justice Department, bent upon proving Bill
monopolous, yet before his wrath did they quail, and proclaim him
innocent, mostly.
And that which was once called Chicago became known as Windows 95, and
the suspense built throughout the land, and Bill, remembering what had
gone before, set about building a great Hype.
Into his Hype he put the greatest mouths of the land, and scattered
the fruits of his profits so heavily that he bought hosts of angels to
sing, and Rolling Stones songs, and trumpets and horns and drums
without number. As the time of birthing grew nigh, he purchased
television time without end, and appeared thereon himself, and bought
entire editions of newspapers to give away unto the faithful, and
traveling circuses to visit each great city.