The
Life of Brian
Life of Bwian Sounds
We present
. . . .
And
seventy camels, forty-eight goats, sixteen chickens, twleve pigs,�
two dromedaries, and� of course the wacky Monty Python Boys.
�"Are you a virgin?"
�"I want to be a woman."
�"Shutup, I'm trying to hear
what he's saying, bignose!"
�"And so as a blasphemer,
you are to be stoned to death!"
�"Blasphemy! He said it
again!"
�"Oh yeah, if we didn't
have crucifixtion, this country'd be in a right bloody mess!"
�"No one is to stone anyone
until I blow this whistle!"
�"Where's the fetus gonna gestate,
ya gonna keep it in a box?"
�"I'm Brian and so is my
wife!"
�"Blessed are the cheesmakers."
�"Well what are you doing
creeping out in the cowshed at 2 o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound
very wise to me!"
�"Let me come with you pontius,
I may be of assistance if there is a sudden cwisis!"
�"ck . . . ckk . . . cckkkr
. . . . Crrrrrrrrrusifixion's too good for 'em sah!
"Oh, damn damn damn . . . I'm
sorry! . . . Oh, damn, damn, and blasted!
"Babardo, a touch of daring-do."
"Yes, we are all different! .
. . I'm not."
"Disperse them? But I haven't
addressed them yet!"
"Bloody do-gooder!"
"I sometimes lay awake at night
dreaming of being spat at in the face!"
�"Spare a talent for an old ex-leper?"
"Bloody favoritism!"
"You mean you were raped?! .
. . Well, at first yes."
"I have a very great friend in
Rome called "Bigus Dickus"!"
"Go away!"
"For he's a jolly good fellow,
for he's a jolly good fellow . . .� "
"Hail Caeser!"
"Hello mother! . . . Don't you
"hello mother" me, what are all those people doing out there?!"
"Homage? You drunk, its disgusting!
Out, c'mon out. Versing me with tales about oriental fortune tellers, c'mon
out!"
"How shall we fuck off o' lord?"
"Oh I'm alive! Havaaaaa Nagila!"
"Uh, I'm Brian of Nazareth."
"You're all individuals! . . .
. Yes, we are all individuals!"
"Just some Jewish joke sir."
"Of course they brought forth juniper
berries, they're juniper bushes! What do you expect?!"
"You lucky, lucky bastard!"
"Crusifixion? Yes
. . good, out of the door, line on the left, one cross each."
"I'm not the messiah!"
"Your father isn't Mr. Cohen."
"Now you listen here! He's not
the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"
"Nortius Maximus."
"There's no messiah in here. There's
a� mess alright but no messiah. Now go away!"
"I'm a rancy pedestrian and
pround of it!"
"Don't pick ya nose!"
"Piss off!"
"Piss off! (slightly more annoyed)"
"All right. Uh, two points,
uh two flats and a packet of gravel."
"It's my right as a man."
"I don't want of that Roman
rubbish!"
"Sex, sex, sex, that's all they
think about!"
"The messiah, the messiah, show
us the messiah!"
"Hoo hoo hoo hoo. The little rascal
has spiwit."
"Splitters!"
"No Spencer Tracys!"
"Suicide squaaaaaaaad . . . . attack!"
"Stop it!"
"You stupid bastards!"
"Stwike him centurion, vewy woughly!"
"Bigus Dickus!"
"Incontinentia
buttocks!"
"I shall
welease woger!"
"And if its not done by sunrise,
I'll cut your balls off."
"The bastard!"
"Wait 'til Biggus Dickus hears
of this!"
"It is customary at this time to
welease a wandewer fwom our pwisons."
"I want to have babies."
"Such a sensless waste of human
life isn't it?"
"Weirdo!"
"What?"
"What's so funny about Biggus Dickus?"
"C'mon, who threw that? Who threw
that stone, c'mon."
"Vewy well. I shall welease, Bwian!"
"Wolf nipple chips, getting
while they're 'ot. They're lovely."
"I shall welease, Wodewick!"
"Wome is your fwiend."
"No Wudolph the Wed Nose Weindeers."
"Well Bwian, you've given us a good
wun for our money."
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