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Jokes for ChildrenThese are the ideal jokes to tell to your children!The "how to help ill things" jokes Knock Knock, who's there! What did one thing say to another? Some funny animal jokes Other Childrens Jokes Jokes about monsters, dracula and ghostsWhy was the skeleton alone at the dance? Because he had nobody to go with! Why did the skeleton not enter the fight? He didn't have the guts! what does Dracula say to his victims? Nice gnawing you! Why did Dracula suck on a mint? He had bat breath! Do you like Dracula films? I think they are fangtastic! What is Dracula's favourite game? Batminton! How do vampires go on holiday? With British Scareways! Why do vampires not need diets? They eat necks to nothing! What is a monsters favourite meal? Beans on ghost! What is a ghosts favourite day? Moanday! How to help ill thingsWhat do you give a sick fruit? Lemonaid! What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment! What do you give a sick pig? Oinkment! What do you give to your sick relative? Antidote! Knock Knock, who's there?Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it was just a joke! What did one thing say to the other?What did the biscuit say to his friend when he was run over? Oh crumbs! What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look now, I'm changing! What did the big candle say to the little candle? I am going out tonight! Here are some good animal jokesWhy did the fly fly? Well, the spider spider! Why did the viper viper nose? Because the adder adder hankerchief! Why did the owl owl? The woodpecker wood pecker! What do you get if you cross a duck with a cow? Cream quackers! What do you get when you cross a parrot with a millipede? A walkie talkie! What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A wooly jumper! What do you call an eskimo's cow? Eskimoo! Why do seagulls live at the sea? They'd be bagels if they lived in a bay! Dog JokesWhat dog loves to take bubble baths ? A shampoodle ! What dogs are best for sending telegrams ? Wire haired terriers !! Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ? He was trying to make both ends meet ! What is the dogs favourite city ? New Yorkie ! What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog ? Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants! What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower ! What kind of dog does a vampire prefer ? Any kind of bloodhound ! Why did the snowman call his dog Frost ? Because frost bites ! What happened when the dog went to the flea circus ? He stole the show ! Cat JokesWhat happened when the cat ate a ball of wool ? She had mittens ! What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ? A carrot ! What is a French cat's favourite pudding ? Chocolate mousse ! What did the cat say when he lost all his money ? I'm paw ! The next joke is from Andrew Woodchester What do you get when hot water is poured down a rabbit hole?Hot cross bunnies! Other Childrens JokesWhy did the hedgehog cross the road? To see his flatmate! What do you call a lazy bull? A bulldozer! The next joke is from Andrew Woodchester How would you keep cool during a football match?Sit next to a fan! Did I tell you the joke about butter? Better not, you might spread it! When is a blue book not a blue book? When it is read! |