Hillbilly Humor

by Unknown

Dear Son,

      I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper where the most accidents happened within twenty miles of home,...so we moved.

      I wont be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't have to change their address, wish I would have thought of that.

      It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

      The coat you wanted me to send you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with those heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

      We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.

      About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle, yet.

      Three of your friends when off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned. They couldn't get the tailgate down in time.

      Not much more news this time, nothing much happened.

                                                                      Love, Mom.

P.S. I WAS GOING TO SEND YOU MONEY, but the envelope was already sealed.