1. All throughout the land, the music was good.
2. The trumpets were strong, the tambourines were rhythmic, the harps and lyres were sweet sounding, and the tunes were very catchy.
3. But God could sense that something was wrong.
4. His people were growing complacent. They needed change.
5. God loved his people so much that he decided to bless them.
6. He called upon his high priests to instruct them what needed to be done.
7. My people grow weary, the Lord told them. They need something new.
8. You will go forth and build a vessel of change.
9. From it shall pour forth a new song unto me.
10. It will be beautiful in sound and in appearance.
11. It shall be called the violin.
12. The violin is to be made from fine woods such as maple and spruce, and decorated with fine ebony.
13. It's shape shall be similar to that of an apple core.
14. It shall have four strings capable of playing at least 3 octaves. These strings shall be called G, D, A, and E.
15. The strings shall be played either by plucking (pizzicato), or with a bow.
16. The violin shall change the course of music as you know it, by bringing a wonderful and diverse new sound to all who have ears to hear.
17. But for this musical revival to occur, thine musicians must first prove thyselves worthy by obeying thine ten violin commandments.
18. Obey them and thine music shall mesmerize the people with its beauty. Fail to follow the Lord's path, however, and thine violins shall probably still sound good, but not AS good.

1. Thine violinists must haveth advanced musical degrees. They shall consider musicians such as Beethoven and Mozart to be amateurs.
2. Thou must be able to detect tuning discrepancies without the aid of modern technology.
3. Thou mayest only use sheet music for aesthetic purposes, or to make other band members feel better by pretending that thou needeth music too.
4. Thou must be willing to play with any other instruments, even thy fellow trumpets. Thou must forgive thine brethren who feel that those instruments go together perfect with thine violin.
5. Thou shalt patronize thy fellow horn sections. Thou shalt say unto them that they playeth good, or that their horns are shiny, or SOMETHING. Thou mayest never laugh at them publicly, but only in thine secret place.
6. The violin section shalt have their volume turned up so that all may be blessed, and thine section shalt have many members.
7. Thine violins shalt be more expensive than fine gold or silver or even some houses.
8. Thou shalt have near perfect pitch, the ability to count like a metronome, every single key memorized, and near perfect sight reading abilities. Thou shalt feel no pressure, though.
9. Thou shalt not stab thine fellow musicians with thine bows.
10. Thou must stop going on vacations, gigs, family visits, parties, or concerts unless thou can fit it in with Wednesday nights and all day Sunday with the C.O.R. band, or unless thou taketh thine fellow band members with them.
11. These are thine ten violin commandments. Obey them and thou shalt be blessed and greatly respected by all.
12. But beware, the devil does not like the violin. He thinks it should be replaced with stupid instruments such as kazoos and trumpets. He is out to cause problems such as carpal tunnel in thine arms. But thou mayest avoid carpal tunnel with good posture.
13. Despite thine temptations thou shalt avoid further use of cats as ingredients in thine violins. Thou mayest use other things such as steel, or horse hair, but not cats.
15. When called upon to fiddle, instead of thine normal classical routine, thou must be very wary.
16. Country music comes like a thief in the night. It comes to steal your trucks, dogs, spouses, and your musical senses. It tries to drive people to drinking, gambling, and rodeo, just as its lyrics say.
17. Thou shalt fiddle at thine own risk. But thou mayest feel safe when fiddling to southern gospel, but thine ears shall probably hurt.

1. So the high priests did as the Lord commanded, and constructed many violins.
2. It took more than 15 years to properly train people to play the violin.
3. They began at very young ages and practiced many many hours.
4. Parents wanted their children to be blessed so badly that in some cases children were even forced to take lessons.
5. Finally there were enough well trained violinists to begin to make songs.
6. When the people heard the violin they were in awe.
7. The harp and lyre players wanted to switch to violin.
8. The tambourine players began shaking with excitement.
9. The trumpet players felt ashamed at first, but quickly regained their confidence when the violinists complimented their loudness, and soon they were all playing together.
10. God was very happy with his creation, and decided to make violins of different shapes and sizes, naming them things like viola, cello, and bass.
11. Entire orchestras were formed, and violinists were given great respect.
12. Soon the new songs were pouring up to God and the angels worshiped God with even more strength.

I don't want to alarm you, but my lizard friend here isn't too happy. Sure he looks harmless, but that's because he's trying to show patience. See he doesn't like it when people don't sign my guestbook. Well, let me just put it this way, Have you ever seen Jurassic Park? I suggest you click on him, and sign the guestbook.