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The Letter
From: The following letter was forwarded by someone
who teaches at a junior high school in Memphis, Tennessee.
To: The letter was sent to the principal's office after the
school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly.
This story is a credit to all human kind. Read it,
soak it in, and bask in the warm feeling that it leaves you with.
Dear Reyer School:
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent
senior citizen's luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the
county
home for the aged. All my family is gone. It's nice to know that
someone thinks of me.
God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My
roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but would never
let me listen to it. The other day her radio fell and broke into
a
lot of pieces. It was awful. She asked if she could listen to
mine,
and I said fuck you.
Sincerely,
Edna Johnson
ACTUAL Announcements Taken from Church Bulletins:
1) Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church
help.
2) Thursday night-Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
Community.
4) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have
a nursery downstairs.
5) The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth
of David Alan Belzer,
the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
6) This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north
ends of the church.
Children will be baptized at both ends.
7) Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies
giving milk will please come early.
8) Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
Club. All wishing to become
Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
9) This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come
forward and lay an egg on the altar.
10) Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the
cost of the new carpet. All those
wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and
get a piece of paper.
11) The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind
and they may be seen in the
church basement Friday.
12) At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
"What is Hell?" Come early and listen
to our choir practice.
13) Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double
door at the side entrance.
14) The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
15) Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church
secretary.
16) 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition
of several new members and to
the deterioration of some older ones.
17) Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for
testes.
18) The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who
enjoys sinning to join the choir.
19) Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who is
preparing for the girth
of their first child.
20) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to
be recycled. Proceeds will be
used to cripple children.
21) The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge -- Up Yours."
True Story about my kids
From: Bonnie
To: [email protected]
Destiny was 5 and Tasha was 4. They went to the store with my
parents
and my father went into the store to get his medications and they
were
all 3 left in the car. My mother listened diligently as the girls
talked. Tasha started off with " Look at ALL those people
going in and
out of the store. There sure are a lot of people. "
Destiny replied, " Yes, there are. Did you know that they
all came from
just one man and one woman?"
Tasha replied, " No. What were their names?"
Destiny put her little hand on her little chin and tilted her
head and
thought really hard. " Their names," she said, "
were Romeo and Juliet."
TRUE STORY.
bon