My 100% dead Cert. ways to score women!
Those who know me best will know that I am crap, em, I mean great at scoring women. These are just a few of the ways to try.
1. From what I can tell, girls like being called bitch, or bitch titties.
2. Walk up to them, look at them in the eyes, smile, and touch them on the cheek and say, "Those are some nice big tits. Get 'em out.
3. Walk up to a woman, say "It tastes like chicken!" She'll know what you mean, even if you don't.
4. Women like men who have good personal hygiene, so to prove it, ask them to take a bath with you.
5. Tell them you're 5th in line to the throne of Luxembourg, and therefore, to avoid serious international confrontation, they should "Get 'em out"
6. Women love porn movies, and should jump at the chance of starring in one if offered.
Suggested titles:
Bitch does ………………… (Enter your town's name here)
Bitch gets naked 2
Mr Humps amazing adventures in the land of love
Tittie tittie bang bang
7. Say "I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!"
8. Wait 'till she's in a group, call her using your index finger, and when she comes over, say, "I made you come with one finger. Imagine what I could do with my whole hand."
9. Say, "Do you work for the post office? I could have sworn you were checking out my package."
10. Say, "I'm feeling a little off today. Do you want to turn me on?"
11. Say "Lovely, soft young strumpet. I bet you take it up the arse?" in a posh English accent, with a little snort at the end. It'll charm her with the accent, and get the message across.
12. Wait until she's in a large group of people, walk over and say "Hi! Do you remember me? We met in the STD clinic!" Then, with any luck, the rumour will go around about her being a slut with syphilis and herpes and things like that, which will eventually reach her parents and other close relatives, who will disown her, and kick her out of their house. Finally, she will be cold and alone, her life all but ruined. No friends, no where to go, no hope and contemplating suicide. This is when you make your move, go and find her, drag her out of the gutter, and promise to give her a donut if she'll go out with you. Simple as that.
13. Go to 117 the high street Birmingham; knock on the door three times fast, then two times slow. Ask for Madame Arabella, and tell them Stevie sent you.
14. Say to a woman, hey baby, we're gonna have sex. Email me and tell me what happens.
15. Say, come on luv, you're nothing special you know. Email me after that one too.
16. Say, are those space pants you're wearing, 'cause your ass is out of this world.