Subject

Teacher

Comment

Grade

English

Mr w'hore

Steve be progressed good.

B

French

Miss Freelove

Stephen Spent all 3 hours of his exam looking up rude words in the dictionary, but still ended up getting a B. Keep it up!

B

Maths

Mrs. Spank- a lot

Stephen is a shit and I hate him.

U

Science

Mr. Science

Did well in the end of year test, would have got an A if it wasn't for his repeated and gratuitous use of the word 'spunk' on the question about reproduction.

B

History

Madame t'itties

He appears to take little or no interest in the subject, and it seems he has started a small business selling the 5^th years sleazy, poorly produced home made pornography in lessons.

F

Food Technology

Mr/Miss Pink-whistle

When I asked him why he chose to take food he replied "You can suck an answer out of my dick, lady boy" which I took particular offence at. I haven't been a boy for 6 years now.

F

German

Mr. Kraut

Stephen is one of my more difficult students, he spends all of his class time finding out how to verbally abuse people in German, on one occasion he even asked the head mistress for some "Mundsex"

C

Drama

Michael J. Fox

He wrote his final play based loosely on Back to the Future, where he went back in time and had sex with my mother. It was funny though.

A+

Art

Steve shows great enthusiasm; in fact he volunteers every lesson to be the nude model. Apart from that he's shit though.

F

Music

The artist formally known as Mrs Burton

Does Stephen really take Music? It's just he hasn't been to any of my classes over the entire year.

I don't know.

Head Mistress report

Mrs Smith

I'm glad to see Stephen has improved his report in almost all of his subjects this year, and as soon as I discover what Mundsex is, I'm sure I can oblige. Keep it up!