THE BEGINNERS GUIDE TO INTERVIEWS

Now, there comes a time when even the laziest of dogs rise up out of the filth and sleaze that was there basket, and die, like a dog, most probably. Now that I’ve set the scene for my topic, its time to get on down.

To prepare you for your entry into the world of money making and business dealings I have written a list of do’s and probable don’ts. Observe.

DO’S

1. Now, I’ve had my fair share of interviews and I know that they take personal pleasure in coming onto you. There are three ways of putting across the tender point of wanting the job more then there body.

Grab your appendage and shout "LICK MY NIPPLE YOU BOLLOCK" in a loud, but calm, fashion. This will let them know that you are a professional and will take your new job seriously.
Rub yourself under the table so they can’t see you, all the while try to give the impression that he/she is your prey and you were the one in the bushes.
Laugh wildly at him and open then close your flies repeatedly

2. I know that interviews can be daunting, many people say that picturing them in their underwear helps, but this is wrong. I suggest you picture them in your moma’s pantyhose’s, which will provide an aura of "this is going to be great!" which is normally given off when people she your moma’s pantyhose’s, and also bringing an erotic stimulant to the table.

3. As sure as the fact that your moma’s easy, interviewers will ask trick questions to try and be-little you. A simple answer of "What the fuck? You look like an arse penis boy" will let you side step around the iffy parts.

4. To avoid the embarrassing question "so where’s your cock then?" always take the time to pad out your pants with old and stained porn mags, this will give you the security of knowing you have an amazing bulge and that Pammy’s with you, all the way.

5. It always helps to prepare a sheet of universal answers to their questions. I have taken the time to prepare a DIY answer kit, complete with interchangeable wording.

Suck

my

cock

you

cockless

Turd

Eat

nads

ugly

Spunk drinker

Swallow

massive one

sissy

Nipple

Bend

penis

cock

Arse

Suck	my	cock	you	cockless	Turd
Eat		nads		ugly	Spunk drinker
Swallow		massive one		sissy	Nipple
Bend		penis		cock	Arse