Super Martin Rides again

once upon a time there was a porn star named july Her Problem was that she weighed 600lbs, noone wanted to have her in their magazines or films, she was getting bored of people laughing at her, so one day she decided to do something about it! So, she went to visit a famous porn king called Ginger Paul. If there was anyone in Tavistock who could help her, it would be him, with his massive collection of porn (but don't tell his Mum!).Ginger Paul agreed to help her, he had read something about porn stars losing weight in issue 32 of 'Shaven Haven'. His first plan for July was to slice the fat off with a knife, that went very wrong though, After July was released from hospital because of the cuts, Ginger Paul told July to get Liposuction, but July couldn't afford it, so Paul decided to try it himself with a Vacuum Cleaner, A knitting needle and a hell of a lot of grease! This became rather messy, but did help to make July thinner (at the cost of Ginger Paul's Mum's expensive wallpaper). Despite his good intentions, Ginger Paul was not having a lot of success in boosting July's career (although he did give her some private work of his own). Ginger Paul feared that perhaps he wasn't the best person for the job after all. He decided to consult his porn buddy, who was called DOUG! Doug wasn't very good at how to get her thin, but Doug had the best hair know how in the world, he was the world's best hairdresser and had the best hairstyle in the world! He gave July a really good haircut, Ginger Paul asked for a haircut but Doug replied, "I only cut hair on people's heads". July's new haircut worked! She got a break in Ginger Paul's favourite magazine 'Ugly& Naked'. Paul and July were really happy! Ginger Paul decided he would go out and have a celebration, so he went to a stripper bar, he thought he should but July a new dress for her job, do he went to a supermarket and got a plastic bag He wanted one to put over his head, because he was such an ugly bastard that he had to cover his face before he could go into any respectable shops. Once his face was masked, he proceeded to go into Ann Summers; where he bought all his clothes. Trying hard to ignore the vibrators, he picked out a leather whip, a pair of knee high boots, a leather dress and a leather mask. That was him sorted out, "now, what shall I get for July?" he thought to himself, "I know, a pair of trowsers" A whole month later after the episode along came another budding star called Martin he was so ugly that other porn agencies didnt want to sign him up,so off he went to Ginger Paul.... But this was too big of a task for Ginger paul, so Martin was killed and sold as dog food. One day, Paul got a phone call from July, the pressure of being a porn star had got to her, she went mad, suddenly, she jumped through the window and tried to shoot paul, she missed, but hit his 21 inch........... TV screen, and smashed, it, "AARGH!! I CANNOT WATCH ANY MORE PORN NOW!!" SHOUTED PAUL, he grabbed a knife and stabbed July, she died, blood was all over the place, Paul was now without his TV, "is life worth living?" he said to himself, he lifted up a gun, pointed it to his head and.... BANG!!! he blew his own head off, it exploded in to so many bits that his living room was covered in head and brain and facial features...outside was a big flash of light and bursting through the door came SUPER MARTIN. His costume was Bright Pink! he spat on the corpse of Paul, burning through the skin and bones, the acid dribble was Martin's special move. Martin went into town and started blowing up buildings with his spit! The whole world was being attacked by this dribbling freak with an "M" on his forehead. The "M" started to glow, it send fire balls out and blew up cities! There was only one team of people who could defeat Super Martin...... THE AAH! MY NIPPLES! TEAM!!!!! There were three of them, Pad, Jefferay and Jean-Paul Gallie. They grabbed Martin by the toes, it was a long way from the "M", but they needed gas masks. They shot Martin a few times then sprayed deoderant on him, he began to burn away, buthis dribble healed his fading body. Pad sumoned the Nipple Demon, it lept forth and tweaked Martins Nipples. Gallie then called to Ed, the man who killed Father Boggy, Ed tried to kill martin, but Martin spat on Ed, Ed melted and died. Martin tied up Jefferay, Pad and Jean-Paul Gallie, He was just about to dribble on them when PAUL CAME BACK!!! He attacked Martin, set the AAH! MY NIPPLES! team free, but Martin fribbled on him again, Paul melted and dissapeared. Martin faced Jean-Paul Gallie, Pad and Jefferay, The AAH! MY NIPPLES! team started beating up Martin, Martin fell down, Pad ripped the "M" off his head, Jeff ripped the stuff off Martin's face and Jean-Paul Gallie sucked all martins spit out.... with a vacuum cleaner. Once this happened Peter Nicholas arrived and said aha ' It's me I'm the porn star not Paul - I fooled all of you- Paul Is just an ordinary person - not like me i'm a stupid bastard' Everybody turned on peter and beat seven bells of shit out of him until he died a horrible painful death. Everybody (except porn star peter nicholas) lived happily ever after.

The End