Huge storm clouds loomed ominously as Space Baron and Brian stood apprehensively in the steamy Brisbane January heat. They were standing on a school oval, small and insignificant on the green expanse of two football fields side by side. Cicadas thrummed noisily in the trees, and the school buildings 150 metres away appeared unreal from the oppressive heat. Space Baron had his deep, brown, mysterious eyes fixed unwaveringly on the approaching thunderheads. Brian had his watery, girlish eyes fixed unwaveringly on Space Baron's tensed shoulders.
Suddenly the frightful tension was broken as the rumble of not too distant thunder was heard, accompanied by a cool breeze which smelt and felt of the approaching storm. Now the storm was nearing with startling rapidity, and at it's centre shone a bright core of gyrating plasma. Now even Brian, with his spectacular insensitivity to the outside world was enraptured by the ominous approach of the dastardly super-villain.
Space Baron steeled himself and said, "Prepare yourself Brian, prepare yourself to face the most powerful force of evil in the world today. Prepare to take on the might, the power, the presence that is...Lightning Rod."
Brian looked awkward, what do you say when someone has just done a better job than the narrator of explaining the situation. "OK" he said under his breath, but Space Baron didn't hear because he was focussing on the task ahead.
Now the storm was very close, Space Baron and Brian watched in awe as QEII stadium was completely obscured by the raging tempest. The first thing to hit was the hail, heavy golf balls of it fell with gradually increasing intensity. Next came the golfers, hundreds of damp, cold middle aged men in silly pants and hats swung wildly at the golf ball sized hail with all manner of clubs. Then the cool breeze became a shrieking, tearing gale. Then came, Gail, shrieking tearing and asking for directions as hundreds of her swirled violently around the oval. Next was the driving rain. Acutally it was the learner driving rain, which fell at crooked angles and slowed down on straight, empty stretches of air. Then the provisional driving rain which got caught speeding and had two points taken from its license and then became obsessed with cops and license points. When the full driving rain hit Space Baron and Brian were barely able to stand as confused cliches and bizarre weather phenomena pelted them constantly.
Then the air cleared just for a second and the frightened but determined pair caught sight of the evil Lightning Rod. They strode toward him with just one object each. Brian had a pair of jumper leads and Space Baron held, rather ridiculously but I just thought of it, Liam's car. "I hope this works," said Space Baron as he deftly lifted the bonnet of the car.
"Could you give us a <I have completely forgotten the word for starting a car with someone elses battery, because I am tired and I've been writing for 45 mins>, mate." said Brian, a quivering hint of fear creeping into his voice.
"Sure," replied Lightning Rod with a slight mocking grin that made you realise that he was really thinking "How are they going to defeat me with that heap of shit (sorry Liam)?"
With that Brian thrust the jumper leads into the crackling plasma shield and was thrown back by the sheer force of complex physics principles that were operating in there.
"It's just like 'Sliders'" he screamed, and when he stopped the whole scene had suddenly gone silent. It was as if the whole world was focussing on that corner of a football field in MacGregor (much like when we play a soccer game at Yandina Oval).
The immense power of concentrated lightning battled with the mystery that is the electrical system of Liam's car. Space Baron kept turning the key of the car and every time it didn't start the consternation on Lightning Rod's face grew. "It must be your alternator!" he screamed, trying to put Space Baron off.
"No, Liam just had it fixed." screamed back Space Baron and once again successfully failed to start Liam's car. When the protective lightning shield around Lightning Rod's power-lifter-flight-maker was almost clear, he tried to make a getaway. But as soon as he stepped out of the field Space Baron and Brian beat the living Bejesus out of him and threw him in a cell, with a nice view and long-term possibility of escape.
So the pair triumphantly called the RACQ from the jail and drove home in Liam's car.
The End
Could I ever get any more atmosphere in one Space Baron episode?
Will Liam ever get his car back from SB and Brian?
Was thing the longest non cut-and-paste Space Baron episode ever?
Find out all this or less in the next episode of SPACE BARON