It was a balmy summer afternoon and the Space Baron was out fighting crime. He had left Brian at 7-11 to take care of the evil short-changing, but good looking checkout chick.
"You there!" Space Baron's authoritative voice startled three evil-guys disguised as 12 year olds. "It's illegal to write your names in wet cement on a public walkway!"
"It's not illegal, my daddy says so!" the evil-guy stood up to the Space Baron cheekily as if he really was a 12 year old.
"Well it's not good," the Space Baron sneered, "I am afraid I am going to have to ask you to stop."
"Make us!" they chorused and danced around the Space Baron akin to the way Maypole-dancer-arounderers dance around maypoles.
The Space Baron needed no more convincing and with a few well controlled jerks of his arms, he smashed the faces of the three evil-guys, fitting most of the leader's bike down his throat.
To the booing onlookers he simply said, "Thank you, but it's all in a day's work."
Later that minute the Space Baron came across another evildoer. "What did you just do?" he asked the evildoer.
"I was just peeing behind that tree because I REALLY REALLY needed to go." the evildoer replied.
"Well it's not nice," the Space Baron scolded before slashing the evildoer's throat with a flick of the wrist and his trusty Space Baronife.
Once again, to the dismayed onlookers Space Baron said, "Thankyou, but it's all in a day's work," before leaving the helplessly twitching carcass on the grass in the park.
In the ensuing minutes the Space Baron began to make his way back home. BUT on the way he saw a baddie disguised as an old lady loitering at the side of the road near a bus stop sign.
"You there!" The Space Baron recycled his dialogue. "It's illegal to loiter, move now or die."
The baddie said, with a quiver in her toothless voice, "Hello sonny, I am afraid you'll have to talk louder that's my bad ear and my hearing aid is on the blink.
"Don't you play dumb with me!" the Space Baron picked up the baddie by the throat and held her dangling feet above the ground. "You're loitering, and it's illegal."
The baddie struggled trying to form words with her mouth but her throat had been crushed and it was impossible to talk. Though it didn't matter because the Space Baron put her over his knee and smapped her in two like a twig, discarding the two bits of the baddie in a nearby wastebasket. Then turning to no-one in particular, he said: "Kids: do the right thing, put litter in the bin." Then turning to the onlookers who were by this time brandishing things and yelling things, he said, "Thankyou, but it's all in a day's work." Then hearing a not so far off noise in the distance, the Space Baron turned to see a mushroom cloud where there was once a 7-11 where the evil-short-changing-but-good-looking-(hence-how-she- got-her-job)-check-out-chick worked. And before he knew it, there was Brian standing in front of the same crowd, hands full of change, saying "Thankyou, but it's all in a day's work." But with that the crowd became angry and began to stone the heroes. But Brian had a brainwave, which would possibly help to avoid the demise of the Duo. He threw handfulls of change into the crowd who stopped to pick it up, giving them valuable escape time.
"No you fool!" Space Baron had more urgency in his voice than ever before, "it's ours, don't give it to them, I want it, I want it, I want it!!!. Don't you see, by trying to kill us - the ones who stand for good and justice - these people have made themselves evil. It is therefore our job to kill them."
And they did.
THE END