Our story begins on a small island in the south pacific where the leaders of the world were meeting to discuss world peace.
"I believe that by working together we can eliminate poverty, wipe out war and enjoy everlasting peace," were the words of the French ambassador. "The secret to this is to...."
"Excuse me, I'd just like to say that I agree with what you have to say." The American ambassador put in.
"Please don't interrupt me!" The French ambassador said.
"But I was just agreeing..." The American Ambassador began.
"SHUT UP!"
"But..."
"I KILL YOU!!!!!" The French ambassador leapt across tables to get at his American counterpart, and began throttling him. Before long the whole assembly of ambassadors was arguing, and the session ended with numerous declarations of war, and counter-declarations of war and counter-counter-declarations of war.
Meanwhile, at the Space Baron household......
"I KILL YOU !!!!!!" Space Baron was chasing after Brian, "I warned you not to use my razor on your legs!!!"
The two were running around the house knocking over furniture when the Space Baron Space Phone rang.
"Hello, Space Baron speaking," Space Baron answered the phone and after a few moments his face grew long and he hung up.
"What's the matter Space Baron?" asked Brian.
"That was the President of the World." said SB, "it seems that at the convention of world peace, that was supposed to make the world a great place to live, every single country in the world ended up declaring war on every single other country in the world."
"Ooooh, that's bad." Brian said.
"Duh!" was SB's reply. "We have to stop the ambassadors of the world from getting off the island to inform their respective governments that they're at war."
"But maybe a good war is what the world needs to show it what's wrong." said Brian. "After the dust clears, and our soldiers have all swapped jerseys we will see the desolate wasteland that is left after nuclear war we'll never do it again."
"Yes Brian, we all know that's the ideal solution, but no-one will ever listen to us, we're nobodies." said SB, "We have to stop the ambassadors, and for this mission I think I will have to acquire super-powers!"
Brian was wide eyed for a moment, Space Baron had developed a method of acquiring super-powers long ago, but had never tested it. But now he would.
"Fetch the box." Space Baron ordered his sidekick.
Brian came back with a box full of various super-power-giving items. He placed them on the table in front of SB one at a time. Some weapons-grade plutonium, some high-level radioactive waste, some concrete from the Chernobyl meltdown and several bottles of Vodka. Space Baron consumed all of the items and there was a bright flash of light as he became Super-Space Baron!!!
Super-Space Baron ran out to the Space Baron Mobile (which was now the Super-Space Baron Mobile), he then vomited, fell over and passed into unconcoiusness.
"Come-on Super-Space Baron, we have to go save the world!!" Brian dragged the slumped over body of Super Space Baron into the Super Space Baron Mobile and drove to the island in the south pacific where the leaders of the world were boarding their flight off the island.
"Stop!" ordered Brian in a small, pathetic sidekick voice, "Super Space Baron is here!!" He held up the unconcious Super Space Baron and slapped him awake.
"Ugggh? Uhnl..." Was all that Super Space Baron said. The world leaders laughed amongst themselves and continued to board the plane to go home and declare war on each other.
Brian was all alone. He did not know what to do. The plane was taxi-ing out onto the tarmac and preparing for take-off. He stood there for a few minutes waiting for one of those voices like OB1 Kenobi to Luke in Star Wars, but it didn't come. Brian had to do this on his own. And after a few moments he had the solution. He produced the Super Space Baron Cute Little Dog and let it loose on the runway. The pilots of the plane full of ambassadors had already begun accelerating for take-off, but upon seeing the Super Space Baron Cute Little Dog, swerved to avoid it and in doing so crashed and killed everyone aboard the plane. Brian had saved the world.
Just then the Pesident of the World materialised next to Brian.
"Wow!" said Brian, "How'd youdo that?"
"It's not important," said the President of the World, "I just did it to avoid long bits of narration about me pulling up or landing or something so I just materialised, but this text-wasting discussion has defeated the point."
"Oh," said Brian.
Without amother word, the president of the world pulled out a gun and pointed it at Brian's head. "You cannot reveal what has happened here today," he said, "and this will make sure you don't." Brian went diving for cover, but the only thing he could find to dive behind was the body of Super Space Baron.
"Ha!," the Evil President of the World said, "This gun is powerful enough to shoot through the both of you!" He pulled the trigger to kill the duo, but the bullet bounced off Super Space Baron's chest.
"Ha to you!" Brian said, "It may make him unconcious, but the various super power giving objects also make Space Baron invulnerable to those particular sorts of bullets!"
"Damn!" the Evil President of the World was understandibly disappointed, "I wish I had thought to bring more than one bullet to my killing spree. You may have won this round Super Space Baron, but I'll get you yet!" The President of the World vanished into thin air.
IS THE (EVIL) PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD REALLY EVIL OR IS HE JUST SO FOR THIS
EPISODE?
WILL SUPER SPACE BARON WAKE UP AND WILL HE STILL HAVE HIS SUPER
POWERS?
OR WILL HE MERELY DIE FROM POISONING HIMSELF?
WILL SUPER SPACE
BARON AND BRIAN LEARN THE ART OF MATERIALISING SOMEWHERE TO REDUCE THE
TEDIUM FUTURE NARRATION?