Space Baron Episode #29

SPACE BARON: The Episode With a Plot

- By Bob

Chapter 1 - Space Baron Must Overcome his Own Fears

"Oh my God Space Baron," screamed Brian in terror, "The evil Doctor Keg has surrounded the Nuclear generator with robot guards. How will we ever get in there in time to stop the generator from exploding as a result of the bomb that Dr Keg planted? How can we stop the whole universe from being destroyed?"

"The short answer my friend," said Space Baron, "is that we can't. We're doomed to die."

"What? Doomed, don't be silly, we can't be doomed, if we were doomed then that would mean that there's no hope for us and that we're all bound to die!"

"It's the truth."

"But surely you can use your combination of a brilliant mind and supreme physical strength and endurance to save us!" Pleaded Brian.

"I'm afraid I just can't do it, no-one can beat robot guards, especially not ones that are plugged into the mains power supply and can be easily stopped just by cutting their power."

"Oh please Space Baron, please try." said Brian, starting to get on everyone's nerves as he tripped over a powerpoint in the wall.

"Well, if I wasn't such a cheap imitation of a super hero I could probably just bend down and pull the plug out of this wall and then the 2 km extension cord which leads to the mass of double adapters supplying the robots would carry no power, but that's an insane idea, I'm not strong enough or intelligent enough to do any, let alone both, of those actions."

"You've been listening to your Morrissey CDs again, haven't you space Baron?" Said Brian in an incriminating voice.

"No, I am too stupid to work a CD player." said Space Baron like a naughty child, staring at the ground and tracing a pattern on the floor with his toe."

"Are you also sixteen, clumsy and shy?" Asked Brian slyly.

"Yes, I mean no, oh damn, I've been found out, I couldn't even do that right, I might as well just pull the cord." whined space Baron as he ripped out the cord.

As soon as the cord was ripped out all the evil robot guards ground to a halt. Space Baron's confidence was instantly restored but as he looked happily at the short distance to the nuclear reactor he heard the ominous sound of evil helicopters in the distance, no doubt they were carrying more evil guards and this time maybe the robot ones would be battery operated...

Stay tuned for the next adventure: Lots of action and an Under Seige like model appearing purely for tit value.