Space Baron Episode #35

SPACE BARON and the Time Machine (Part I) - Space Baron and the Stark Raving Mad Naked Squadron

- By Bob

Space Baron and Brian got into the time-space machine (which they'd purchased at the same garage sale that the Simpsons attended in that Halloween episode on Sunday, for ease of plot) and set the co-ordinates to Britain in 1943.

With a cazzzzzZzzZZzzZZZzzZZZZzzZZZZZzzZZZZZzaaaP! they were suddenly at Northamptingcastletonshire airbase, the very core of the British air force.

"Bally good luck landing here old chap." said Space Baron, in a slightly ridiculous English accent.

"Yaawww teelliiing mie amiigooo." replied Brian in a Mexican whine. For once Space Baron took pity on Brian and decided not to tell him that he was not speaking in a 1940's british accent. "Whaaiiiyy don't weeee go and have some teeaaa and scones wiiith those jollyyyy nice chappies over there." continued Brian, pointing to a group of men in overalls lounging around outside a servicing shed.

They crunched through the snow frozen to ice on the ground, pushing into the bleak wind. When they reached the group they were rather surprised to find that the reason that the men had appeared to be in overalls from 200 metres away was because they were naked. "Hello." said space baron, "Jolly odd to find you mob here, sitting completely nude in the snow."

"Odd, how do you mean??" asked a brown haired fellow, who was obviously in charge because of the stripes sewn onto his shoulder."

"Well, your in the armyiyyy and iieeit's such a bleaeak dayiyyy, you must be cold, and the armyiyy normallyy has a unieiform." said Brian clarifyingly, trying to clarify the situation.

Space Baron, however, whispered into Brian's ear, "We have to be careful of arousing these naked airforce officers," a plane flew past over there heads, stopping SB's whisper, "into suspicion." he concluded. "It's a funny old word, bleak, isn't it."said Space Baron, conversationally.

"What, sorry, hey, you're breaking up." shouted one of the naked men, apparently in charge of communications.

"Bleak," said Space Baron louder, "It's a funny word, bleak isn't it."

"I can't hear you, there's this funny "bleak"ing noise blocking out some of your communications. Please state your position. I repeat please state your position."

"What do you mean, I said bleak."

"PLEASE STATE YOUR POSITION, PLEASE STATE YOUR POSITION, YOU'RE BLEAKING OUT, PLEASE STATE YOUR POSITION." the naked officer screamed at Space Baron haplessly standing in front of him.

"I'm just here!" Space Baron shouted back, "I'm two metres away at 0 degrees."

"I CAN'T SEE YOU, PLEASE RESTATE YOUR POSITION!!!." shouted the hysterical Communications officer, now foaming at the mouth.

"Maybe you should take your clothes off." suggested Brian.

"Fuck off Brian, you always say that, they castrate the likes of you in these times."

"But maybe you really should, that way he might see you."

So space Baron took his clothes off and the squadron saw him, and soon Space Baron and Brian discovered that this was the famous "Stark Raving Mad" Naked Squadron, who had become famous during the war, due to their effectiveness in shooting down Germans. However, after 1945 their existence was hushed up when the British Government realised that Crazy Naked people didn't instil faith in a country's economic stability.

And so ends another lacklustre Space Baron.

THE END