Space Baron Episode #37

SPACE BARON and The Fire Within

- By Liam

"Hi Space Baron" chimed Brian chirpily as Space Baron walked in the door.

"Would you like some breakfast? I'm having french toast with vegemite and fish eggs, with a grilled tomato sauce sandwich for afters."

"Whats to drink?" asked Space Baron, thoughtfully.

"Baking Grease, with egg whites!"

"Uhh no"

"Are you sure? its really.."

"Listen, shut up for a second. Look at this book I bought."

"A book? Whats that?" asked Brian inqusitively

"Dont start getting inquisitive on me.," said Space Baron. "Im not sure either, but the sales attendent gave me a brochure that would explain it."

"Whats a brochure?"

"I dont know, anyway the books by this guy called A.J.P.XX.VV.FOUR_M"S_AND_A_SILENT_Q Taylor, and its about discovering the fire within."

"OOO, that sounds complicated, whats it like?"

"Well, it says i have to visualise my goals and discover my true passion, then make my deeds an extension of my self, and then become one with harmony and the earth."

"Ooo how dya do that then?"

"Im not sure, the book says that the true key to happiness is buying 'The Fire Within 2: Its Still Burning', but it wont be out for about ten years, so I guess I'm gonna have to stick with this. Anyway, leave me alone, I must meditate on the meaninglessness of life for the next three weeks."

"Shall I hold your calls?" asked Brian tepidly,

"No! What if someone important calls?"

THREEE WEEEEKKSSS LATTEEERR!!!!

"Rise and shine, sleepy head" screamed Brian into Space Barons left ear. "Youve had your spiritual journey, now its time for you to help with the housework."

"Cant" said Space Baron, "I must attempt to further the progression of my soul by teaching the works of mr A.J.P.XX.WW.FOUR_M'S_AND_A_SILENT_Q Taylor to the world."

Brian said "You know I could have sworn his name was A.J.P.XX.VV.FOUR_M'S_AND_A_SILENT_Q Taylor, after all he is my dad."

"Shut the fuck up" said Space Baron, already out the door, "and let's go!!"

Outside Space Baron was enjoying listening to the birds chirping and the cats meowing and the camels gurning as he walked down the street. Brian asked "What are we going to do today?"

"I will become the ultimate superhero by saving the world."

"Look" said Brian masterfully "theres a little boy about to fall out of the tree. We must help him!!"

They raced up to the tree.

"Help" said the boy quietly.

"First we must consider how it is one comes to be fallling out of a tree," began Space Baron.

"Umm, I think we should help him" interrupted Brian.

"Shh," said SB "Although it is hardly my place to complain, I believe that the problems of tree climbing can be traced back your emotional turmoil when you were young."

"But I AM YOUNG" said the boy a little louder.

"Now Now, theres no need to shout." said SB consolingly.

Brian could see the boy was about to fall."SB, help him!"

"Please , i believe now would be a good time for all three of us to spend a moment in silence for the many woodland creatures which have been killed by little boys...", and as the boy flew past and hit the ground with a crack that could only have been his skull. "...uneccessarily climbing trees."

"Come on, Space Baron", said Brian and dragged him away b4 the police could arrive.

WILL SPACE BARON ESCAPE IMPRISONMENT?
WILL BRIAN ASK TO BE IMPRISONED WITH HIM SO AS TO MEET ALL THOSE BIG HAIRY GUYS?
DID I JUST ANSWER THE FIRST QUESTION WITH THE SECOND?

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT IRRITATING EPISODE OF...SPACE BARON!!!!!!!!!