SPACE BARON in THE MATRIX

"You are THE ONE," boomed a superfuturistic-godlike-voicefrom-nowhere.

"I am?" Brian was wide-eyed and put his hands to his face as if he had just won a prize, or as if he were that gay guy in the Birdcage (who wasn't Robin Williams), "I don't believe it..."

"Not you stupid," Space Baron pushed Brian aside and occupied the limelight left behind, "It means me."

Just then - a bunch of super-evil-computer-squids-from-the-future came squiggling towards them. Brian screamed girlishly and then pointed an accusing finger at Space Baron, "None of this wierd s**t ever happened when you weren't THE ONE."

Space Baron folded his arms and raised an eyebrow like that magician they always used to make fun of on Full Frontal, or like Spock from the original Star Trek, "Ahh, but are they really there Brian?"

And they weren't. The squd-things disappeared as suddenly as they had appeared.

"How'd you do that?" Brian asked.

"Come to think of it, you're not really there either," Space Baron said to the surrealistic space where Brian had just been. Space Baron walked up the wall and turned his attention to the superfuturistic-godlike-voicefrom-nowhere. "Who are you?" he demanded, "Show yourself!"

The superfuturistic-godlike-voicefrom-nowhere stepped out from behind some shattered marble pillars. He was Brian.

Space Baron dropped to his knees. He felt sick. Could the whole world really be just a figment of Brian's imagination? His head was spinning, and he found it hard to breathe. Space Baron lost concoiusness.

LATER...

Space Baron awoke, he was Brian. Brian was standing at the door to the room... he was Space Baron.

"Isn't this much better?" Space Baron said, "I am sick of being Brian all the time. Always the lowly sidekick. This is how it was meant to be."

Brian got up and immediately fell to the ground. He had never been in such an uncoordinated body before. He immediately came to respect what Bri... um Space Baron had been going through all these years.

"Come now Brian," Space Baron stretched out his hand, "We have a prophecy to fulfil. We have to make our own fate"

"Oh god!" Brian rolled his eyes in disgust, "How can there be a prophecy, yet be in total control of our fates?" He couldn't believe the contradictions that were being hurled at him left right and centre, even moreso than in the less consistent Space Baron episodes. But his questions were no longer questions. He was no longer Brian. The spoon was gone. The question was now a walking frame, Brian was now a roulette wheel, and the spoon was a crazy mime about a heart being restarted. They were a part of Good News Week.

Not satisfied with this, the episode which I am not writing, but surrounds us all and yet does not, went on.

Space Baron, or Brian, I am not really sure which anymore, entered the kitchen of their apartment to cook the seafood dinner they were having that evening. The other one, had been unable to finish preparing the squid as the cutlery was all bent out of shape.

Using a hammer, the computers that were taking over the world, were oblivious to the humans that had them trapped in a computer program, people were standing on their heads and the sun was going backwards. Sense stopped making, just as desserts justed. Characters in many Australian soaps made insignificant acting debuts and the sound was so unbearably piercing and contemptuously insufferable that brains exploded and reality became virtual and the only thing that was real was email. The volumes and volumes of email sent everyday became tangible and crushed the world by sheer volume. They were so massive that they formed a planet of their own with such gravity that the universe was swallowed into nothing. Thus starting everything again from the big bang. It would be several thousand billion years before this episode of Space Baron was written again, by another me, in another dimension, possibly in another language, making less sense, whilst making more, but inspired by an equally enjoyable, but annoying movie.

ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS THAT CAN BE PUT AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE IN THE CUSTOMARY FASHION?
ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS THAT WOULD NOT BE APPROPRIATE TO PUT HERE?
HOW ABOUT... CAN ANYONE WRITE A SPACE BARON EPISODE BASED ON "SHE'S ALL THAT"?