It was a bright, happy sort of sunny 31st of October and Space Baron and Brian were at the grocery store stocking up for the week ahead.
"Gee Space Baron, I didn't realise we went through so much food in one week," Brian looked amazed as he fought to keep the trolley under control.
Space Baron assessed the situation and sprung into action saying, "Quick Brian, hand me the Space Baron Experimental Trolley Behaviourment Device!"
Brian hesitated, wide eyed, "Are you sure Space Baron, I mean that thing is experimental. Don't you remember what happened last time we used it?"
"No!" snapped SB, "Now Give it here!"
Brian handed Space Baron the Space Baron Experimental Trolley Behaviourment Device and held his breath. Space Baron clipped it onto the disobedient trolley and ignited it, and the trolley behaved. "There now silly," Space Baron comforted Brian, "see, it's working fine."
"I... I guess you were right," said Brian as he went back to pushing the trolley around, "It moves about so smoothly."
The two heroes continued shopping, but little did they realise that the nice happy day outside the air-conditioned lump of concrete that was the shopping centre, the sky had clouded over and the day grew dark.
When it came time to pay for the groceries Space Baron piled up the counter with the purchases, the checkout chick (blatant sexism) scanned the items over the scanner and said flirtingly, "That'll be $97.95," as she rubbed sensuously up and down SB's body. (Even more Blatant stereotypical sexism).
Space Baron paid the girl, and as she put her clothes back on, collected the bags of groceries to take out to the Space Baron-Mobile.
But Brian didn't follow. Instead he stood there holding the trolley with a crazed expression on his face. "No Space Baron," he said in a zombie-like accent, "I shall not be returning with you to the Space Baron-Mobile."
Space Baron couldn't believe his ears, he knew that Brian hated shopping and that he usually raced out to the car in front of him.
Just then an old man stepped up from the bench where he was sitting watching the checkou... um shopping centre wildlife undress. "I've seen this before," he said mysteriously, "that kid of yours has been.... POSESSED BY THE SHOPPING TROLLEY!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Space Baron dropped to his knees and threw his arms skyward.
With the sudden noise, Brian was shocked into action. He ran about the shop freeing Shopping Trolleys from their neat stacks and dumping their grocery burdens on the floor. The trolleys all cheered as they hoisted Brian onto their shoulders and carried him out into the streets where they scooted around, denting cars and killing children. A few hours later, the shopping trolleys had conquered the world. They enslaved the human race and forced them to crawl around in the shops and have groceries dumped on their backs. Brian became king of the Trolleys and he married the most beautiful shopping trolley, who was his queen. They made movies about men who would come from space in a ship that was travelling at the speed of light, and instead of letting him wreak havoc among their civilization like the silly Apes, the movie began with his bloody death and ended with some story about a Shopping Trolley......
Don't worry folks, it's just a halloween tale, you needn't be afraid, shopping trolleys will never conquer and enslave us, they don't even have brains....... or do they............