The RSPCA proudly present
Space Baron kicked the cute little puppy across the room, out the window and onto the street (where it was run over by a thumbtack truck), with one clean movement of his lower leg. As the "suits"(men in suits) from the RSPCA shook their heads in disgust and began packing up their breifcases. Brian took to yelling at Space Baron, despite the pain which he knew was coming.
"Good work, Space. That's another sponsor youve cost us. We'll never be able to afford those matching lycra super-suits now."
Space baron took Brian's tonsils out and started using them as a punching bag. "Geez,thats unfortunate. Anyway, so what? We've got heaps of sponsors left. What about that computer company?"
"Remember that bit where you blamed Microsoft for the destruction of forests? Well, they we'rent too happy about that."
"What about that antique company?"
"You knocked over that vase while you were chasing me around the room"
"The vodka company?"
"It was filled with their vodka!"
"Toms Thumbtacks?"
"We blew up their truck trying to stop the end of the world"
"Did it help?"
"No, but we stopped it anyway."
"Well, who have we got left?"
"Howards Horse Manure, and Pepsi"
"Well that makes it pretty obvious choice then doesnt it"
"Yes" said Space Baron, grinning thoughtfully...
* * * SAME TIME NEXT WEEK... * * *
Space Baron walked into the kitchen, were Brian was preparing breakfast, and said "Hello sh*thead. Whats for breakfast?"
"Bacon and Eggs."
"Anything to drink?"
"Yes. Howards Horse Manure. Its great. It fertilizes your insides, " Brian shuddered, " while being 33.75% less smelly then all the inferior brands."
"Brian" said Space baron, leering devilishly.
"Yes?" said Brian, flinching already.
"Thats...thats...thats...just super."
MEANWHILE...IN A VERY VERY HIDDEN PLACE.
Shadows danced across the walls, crazy dances like the mambo, the macarena, and in some particularly lewd corners, the "pump". The verylarge man sat behind his desk, grinning in a manner that left no doubt as to his eviality. "Gentlemen, I have assembled the greatest criminal mindsin the world here tonight. Soon you will become part of my dream, the dream of all great criminal masterminds have had for a very long time."
There was a gasp of breath from one of the other men in the room, whom I hadnt mentioned yet, but who were clearly present because otherwise he (the mastermind) would be crazy, and although they ususally are, this one wasnt, and anyway, I'm drifting off-topic here..
"What are we going to do?"
The mastermind paused for a second..."Kill Space Baron."
There was a deadly silence.
He continued, "Gentlemen I have a speech impediment that prevents me from laughing but if you could laugh along as though I had been laughing maybe we can pretend that I am laughing after all."
The others, after a breif pause of sorting out, began to laugh...
WILL SPACE BARON REALLY DIE?
REALLY ?
NO, REALLY?