Time was flying by. Brian watched as it curved and shimmered as it struck the window of the time machine. He and Space Baron were playing hide 'n' seek and Brian had decided to use the time machine to hide in they year 50 billion B.C.
"Teeheehee," Brian chuckled to himself, "Space Baron will never think to look for me here. Teeheehee."
The time machine landed with a thud. It was a beautiful day outside and Brian stepped out to look around while he was hiding. He wandered a little from the time machine an came upon a funny looking man crouched over something.
"What're you doing?" Brian asked after sneaking up behind the funny looking man.
"Bwoah!" the man said, "You scared me."
"What are you doing, mister?" Brian said.
"Oh, I'm just making things," said the man, "you know, just being creative." He held out a handful of ants, each with only four legs, for Brian to see. "What do you think of these?"
"They're ants!" Brian exclaimed. "You didn't make them. Er, but they should have six legs."
"What a marvelous idea!" exclaimed the funny looking man excitedly as he started adding an extra pair of legs to each ant. "The extra legs will give support and balance to their bodies. And to think, I was going to put a laserbeam there for hunting bigger animals.
"But ant's are at the bottom of the food chain," Brian tried to explain to the man a concept that was obviously alien to him. "They only eat dead things."
"That's not a bad idea," said the funny looking man. "If everything only eats what is smaller than it, then I can keep the population of these tiny little things in check. You're a genius!" He motioned for Brian to follow him.
Brian and the funny little man strolled across to a wooded area where there were all manner of trees all fighting one another. "I made these last week, but they are just ill tempered and violent," said the funny looking man. I've tried making their teeth a bit smaller, but the damn things have got the foulest mouths you have ever heard. Maybe you can help me."
Brian thought for a moment. "Maybe if you take away their mouths, and made them survive on some sort of chemical reaction," he suggested, "perhaps using sunlight and carbon."
"My friend, you are a genius," said the man. "I think I will do that. By the way, my name's God, what's yours?"
"Brian," Brian said.
"Pleased to meet you Brian," said God. "How about you make something as well."
"OK!" Brian eagerly agreed. He gathered some sticks and mud and compressed it all into a clump. He stuck some rocks on it for eyes and scratched a little mouth into the mud. The sticks formed the body of his invention.
"You're not very good with your hands are you son?" God said as he absent-mindedly brought some poisonous berries into existence. "Come with me, there's someone I'd like you to meet."
Brian followed God up to a huge castle on the top of a tall mountain that overlooked the land that God had created. They wiped their feet and God apologized for the dirt, "I keep meaning to get rid of that stuff," he said. They entered the house and Brian stopped dead in his tracks.
"The D.. the De-de," he stammered.
"Hi matey, I'm Beelzebub," said the tall and sophisticated looking man that greeted them. He stuck out his hand and Brian tentatively shook it.
"How was your day God?" asked Beelzebub.
"Fantastic!" God replied. "I made some little things that have six legs and eat all the stuff that dies, and I changed the tall green things so that they don't have any teeth or even a mouth�"
"But how do they survive?" Beelzebub was perplexed.
"That's the best part," God said, "It's chemistry!"
"Of course!" Beelzebub said, "what a stroke of genius!"
Brian tugged on God's shirt sleeve. "God!" he said, "there's something I have to tell you about your friend. He's going to betray you one day�"
God just laughed. "Beelzy! Never! He and I are like two peas in a pod. He would never do anything to hurt me."
Brian didn't know how to get through to God and decided to take matters into his own hands. As the two friends talked about their day, Brian found the sharpest object that he could and leapt for Beelzebub's head. He slit his throat and Beelzebub let out a scream.
"You idiot God! How dare you bring this assassin into our house!!!" Beelzebub yelled. "You have tried to double cross me for the last time! From now on I am going to oppose everything you do!" Beelzebub ran out of the house in tears.
God turned to Brian. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" He yelled. "He was my bestest friend in the whole wide world! Get out!"
Brian was so scared that he ran back to his time machine and set it for his own time again. He arrived back home just at Space Baron finished saying "Coming ready or not!" "Gotcha!" Space Baron found Brian instantly. "Now it's your turn to be it."
Brian closed his eyes and began to count to twenty. Space Baron had a fantastic idea. "I know he thought, I'll hide in the year 10 billion B.C. He'll never find me there�.."
* * * * * * * * * *
DISCLAIMER: THIS STORY IS NOT INTENDED TO REPRESENT THE RELIGIOUS ORIENTATIONS OF NUGGET PRODUCTIONS OR OF ANY OF ITS MEMBERS. i JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A COOL IDEA TO HAVE LASERBEAMS ON ANTS.
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