Arcade Game Wisdom
There is no problem that cannot be overcome by violence.
Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training.
If it moves, KILL IT!
One good guy can defeat a shit load of bad guys.
Bosses always hire henchmen weaker then they are to do their easy work.
If you see food lying on the ground, eat it.
You can smash things and get away with it.
Smashing things doesn't hurt.
Many nice things are hidden inside other things.
You can knock other vehicles off the road and get away with it.
If someone dies, they disappear.
Money is frequently found lying on the streets.
All shopkeepers carry high-tech weapons.
If you get mad enough, you can fight even more fiercely than normal.
If it's on the ground, pick it up.
Repulsive, ugly, cannabalistic, evil beings have just as much right to be loved as heroic fighters.
You never run out of ammunition, just grenades.
No matter how long you fight, you can always fight again.
"Bad guys" move in predictable patterns.
Except for "bosses," most "bad guys" can be dispatched with one or two hits.
It is easier to face a large mob of "bad guys" then a single "boss" in one on one combat.
Death is reversible (but only for you!).
Ninjas are common, and fight in public frequently.
Whenever huge fat evil men are about to die, they begin flashing red or yellow.
When you are born, you drop out of the sky (a stork?) and are completely invincible for a very short time.
Although the enemy always has more aircraft than you, they fly in elaborate patterns which make it easier for you to shoot them all down.
All female martial artists wear revealing clothes and have great bodies.
All martial arts men have rippling muscles and angry expressions.
The enemy always leaves weapons and other goodies lying around for no reason other than so their bitter enemy can pick them up and defeat them with them.
Shoot everything. If it blows up or dies, it was evil and deserved it. If it survives, pick it up - it was probably a bonus.
The most powerful fighters always wait until you have acheived a nearly impossible flawless win record and killed a record number of opponents before they appear in your presence and beat the crap out of you.
When the odds are 200 to 1 against you, it's no problem.
Gang members all look the same, and often have the same names.
When racing, don't worry if your vehicle crashes and explodes. A new one will appear in its place.
Carpe diem! You only live three times!
