You know you live in....
BOSTON WHEN...
You think of Philadelphia as the "deep south."
You think it's your birth-right to cut someone off in traffic.
You think there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R).
You think three straight days of 90+ is a heat wave.
All your pets are named after Celtic hall of famers.
You refer to 6 inches of snow as a "dusting."
Just hearing the words "New York" puts you in an angry frenzy.
You don't think you have an attitude.
You know the significance of 1918.
Everything in town is "a five minute walk."
When out of town, you think the natives of the area you're visiting are all whacked.
If you still can't bear to watch highlights from game 6 of the 1986 world series.
You have no idea what the word compromise means.
You believe using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
You don't realize that you talk twice as fast as everyone else.
You're anal, neurotic, spasmatic & stubborn.
You think if someone is nice to you, they must want something or are from out of town.
Your favorite adjective is "wicked."
You think 63 degree ocean water is warm.
You think the Kennedys are misunderstood.
TEXAS WHEN...
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water...
You can say 110 degrees without fainting...
You eat hot chili to cool your mouth off...
You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car...
You can make sun tea instantly...
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron...
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance...
Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one...
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets...
You actually burn your hand opening the car door...
Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter.
A formula less than 30 SPF is a joke and you only wear that to go to the corner store...
Hot air balloons can't go up...
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear: "What if I get knocked out and lie on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
MICHIGAN WHEN...
1. You define summer as three months of bad sledding
2. You think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder
3. You can identify an Ohio accent
4. Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six pack of beer and a bucket of smelt
5. Owning a Japanese car was a hanging offence in your home town
6. You know how to play euchre
7. The Big Mac is something you drive across
8. You believe "down South" means Toledo
9. you bake with soda and you drink pop
10. you know somebody from Porch Yearn
11. you drive 76 on the highway and pass on the right
12. your Little League baseball game has ever been snowed out
13. you learned to drive a boat before you learned to ride a bicycle
14. you know how to pronounce "Mackinac"
15. you occasionally cheer, "go Lions! and take the Tigers with you!"
16. the word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical definition
17. you have ever experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week
18. you expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale
19. you know that Kalamazoo not only actually exists, but that it isn't very far from Hell
20. your favourite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving and the first day of Deer season
21. your snowmobile and fishing boat have big block chevy engines
22. at least one person in your family disowns you the week of the Michigan-Michigan State football game
23. your year has two seasons: winter and construction
24. you know what a millage is
25. travelling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon
26. half the change in your pocket is Canadian
27. you show people where you grew up by pointing to your right hand
CALIFORNIA WHEN...
The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
You were born somewhere else.
You know how to eat an artichoke.
The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.
Your car has bulletproof windows.
Left is right and right is wrong.
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
Your mouse has only one ball.
You need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot and pick one up.
You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.
You drive to your neighborhood block party.
Your cat has its own psychiatrist.
You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.
When "the Dead" are best live.
You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.
More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.
Smoking in your office is not optional.
You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.
When you can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch."
Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.
Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.
You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.
You consult your horoscope before planning your day.
A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.
SILICON VALLEY WHEN...
You make $120,000 a year, but can't find a place to live.
You see nothing but expensive cars because of the above.
Your commute time is 45 minutes and you live 8 miles from work.
You stop asking how much things cost and start asking "How long will it take?"
Two-thirds of the people you know are from Boston, Austin, Raleigh-Durham or New York, but you are living in PST.
You know vast and subtle differences between Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Cantonese, and Korean food.
Your home computer contains mostly hardware/software that isn't on the consumer market yet.
You go to "The City" on weekends but don't live there because you like your car.
You think that "I'm going to Fry's Electronics" is an acceptable excuse to leave the office for a while. And your boss does too.
You lost/never had/don't know how to set/ the alarm clock. You'll just get to work when you get there.
You go to an industrial-heavy-metal bar and see two guys get into a fight over what flavor of UNIX is better.
You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have hardware and/ or software companies printed on them. (Bonus for embroidered stuff.)
You know where Woz Way, Resistor Ave, and Floppy Drive are located.
You know Hwy 280 North runs west, and Hwy 680 North runs East.
Even though Microsoft employs quite a few programmers in the Bay Area, they only work on Powerpoint, and the company is still the embodiment of Satan. (Even if their stock IS worth more than yours.)
You see a billboard that says "FGPA2ASIC" and aren't fazed.
When you need the updated Diamond Monster 3D drivers, you just walk across the street.
You have more bandwidth in your apartment or condo than most major universities.
You have to hire security to keep the panhandlers off your terrace.
None of the people you work with are bible thumpers.
You scan yard sales for back issues of "Dr. Dobbs."
Your favorite computer reseller speaks only Cantonese.
Your workplace vending machines dispense "100% natural twig-bars" right next to Jolt Cola and Instant Espresso mix.
No one brings radios into work - they just use RealAudio and listen to thedj.com, rebelradio.com, or other out-of-state stations.
You don't understand how the carpool lanes work because you normally don't commute during those hours.
You meet a friend for lunch and the first topic is where they are working now.
You go to the movies and EVERYBODY claps along with the SciFi theme music.
You entice prospective employees to join your company by bragging about the speed of your internet connection.
You've replaced your box of floppies with a box of Zip disks, but that's just until you get your box of Jaz disks.
You have completely forgotten how to write longhand.
You know it's Christmas Day because the parking lots at the electronics companies are only half full.
You have to think twice before you realize that "beta blocker" is a medical term, not some new exotic software.
You think Steve Jobs is a "hunk."
You have no idea your apartment/house is really dirty because you haven't seen it during daylight hours in over two years.
If it weren't for Trader Joe's frozen meals, you'd starve to death.
You really meant to change the oil in your car 50,000 miles ago.
You suddenly realize that the face of the person you live with - usually a husband or wife - looks really familiar, but several years older.
Your kids grew up and went to college but your palm-top still has a standing notation to drop by Toys 'R' Us to pick up a dozen packs of disposable diapers --- but the store is always closed when you finally get there. (Your kids potty-trained themselves.)
You know the name of the manager of every Starbuck's in a hundred-mile radius.
You know that "PARC" isn't some place to walk your dog.
Your dog died of inattention.
So did your cat.
You spend more time checking the value of your stock options than you do at the gym, but you're still paying $25 monthly for a membership to a place you haven't visited in 18 months.
Sex? That sounds familiar. Is it a new video game?
ARIZONA WHEN...
You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't Remember the name of the incumbent.
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
You can say Hohokam and people don't think you're laughing funny.
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
You can say 115 degrees without fainting.
You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.
You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.
You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
You can pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and "Tlaquepaque".
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go to Circle K.
Some fool can market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them.
Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
You can understand the reason for a town named "Why."
