Excuses for Missing A Day Of Work
When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
If it is all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work.
The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who
fired me for not showing up for work. Okay?
I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we
have that deadline to meet...
I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.
I'm feeling a little disgruntled this morning. You want I should come in?
Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how
about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no,
I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to
work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her
coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.
The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave
me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.
I can't come in because the deadline is Monday and, so far, I only have
seven different fun things to do with a barrel of snot.
The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
I prefer to remain an enigma.
I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is
completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter tax.
I insist on paying my fair share.
I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead!
