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Here's Some of Your Jokes.
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What Do You Call A Train Carrying Goats?
A Chew Chew Train.
--Daniel Paige, Dunkirk, N.Y.
What Do You Get When A Pea Picks A Fight?
A Black-Eyed Pea.
--Cristian J. Miller, Lawerenceville, Ga.
A Mommy, Daddy, And Baby Tomatoe Were Walking Down The Street. When The Baby Tomatoe Fell Behind, The Daddy Tomatoe Went Back To The Baby Tomatoe And Squished Him. "Ketchup!" He Said.
--Alex McAuley, Houston, Tex.
What Goes Snap, Crackle And Pop, But Is Not A Cereal?
A Firefly With A Short Circuit.
--Jonathon D. Little, Millstadt, Ill.
One Hundred Years Ago A Dog Walked Into A Saloon. But Just His Luck, He Walked Right Into The Middle Of A Gunfight, And Got Shot In The Foot. Later, He Walked Back In With His Pistols Cocked And Said, "I'm Looking For The Dude Who Shot My Paw.
--Ryan Butcher, Anchorage, Alaska
Teacher: Joey, Please Use The Word Paper In A Sentance?
Joey: Yes, ma'am. We Couldn't Watch The Movie Because It Was Paper View.
--Justin Hughes, Lafayette, Calif.
A Book Never Written: "PUDDLES" by Wayne Dwopp.
--Nathan O'Keefe, Burnsville, Minn.
What Is The Proper Name For Shishkabob?
Shishkarobert?
--Kara Roche, Plano, Tex.
What Is A Good Way To Get A Wild Duck?
Buy A Tame One And Annoy It.
--Daniel Paige, Dunkirk, N.Y.
Why Does It Get So Hot After A Baseball Game?
Because All The Fans Go Home.
--Summer A. Pursley, Grand Prairie, Tex.
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Here's Some More.
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What Did They Call Kittens In The West?
Posse Cats.
--Dominic Gioia, Corinna, Me.
A Book Never Written: "WHATS THAT MEAN?" by Howard I. No.
--Phyllis Lin, Bartlett, Ill.
Where Do Rabbits Go After They Are Married?
On A Bunnymoon.
--Laura Shaw, Corona, Calif.
Teacher: David Please Use The Word Barium In A Sentence.
David: Yes, Ma'am. When Someone Dies You Barium.
--David Britton, Gikeston, Mo.
A Book Never Written: "TURN OFF THE LIGHTS" by Les Waste.
--Franklin Hennig, Waunakee, Wis.
The Wolfman And Frankenstien Were Hanging Out At Dracula's Castle. The Wolfman Complained: "I Don't Know Whats Wrong With Kids These Days. One Of Mine Wants To Become A Vegetarian!" "Yeah, I Know What You Mean,"Dracula Replied. "One Of Mine Stayed Out Until 7am The Other Day!" "Hey, That's Nothing," Frankenstien Snorted. "One Of Mine Wants To Will His Body To Science!" What's So Bad About That," Dracula Asked. "Well," Frankenstien Replied, "Suppose Someone In The Family Needs The Body Parts?"
--Will Kittrelll, Irmo, S.C.
What Is Worse Than Finding A Worm In Your Food?
Finding Half A Worm!
--Jeff Chiu, Chappaqua, N.Y.
There Was A Russian Named Rudolph. Everything He Ate Was Red, So Everyone Called Him Rudolph The Red. One Morning His Wife Looked Out The Window And Said, "It's Sprinkling, Rudolph!" Rudolph Said, "It's Raining." His Wife Replied, "No, It's Sprinkling." Rudolph Insisted It Was Raining. "Rudolph The Red Knows Rain, Dear!"
--Joseph Schultz, Milwaukee, Wis.
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And Before You Go, A Couple More.
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A Man Locked His Keys In His Car So He Called A Locksmith. He Asked The Locksmith How Long It Would Take Him To Get There. The Locksmith Said About An Hour. The Man Said, "Can You Come Sooner? It's Starting To Rain And The Car Top Is Down.
--Ryan Williams, Tuscon, Ariz.
What Is The Difference Between A Loyal New Yorker, And A Dentist? A Dentist Yanks The Roots, And A New Yorker Roots For The Yanks.
--Matt Zierden, Shawano, Wis.
Person 1: I Had A Terrible Dream Last Night. Person 2: Tell Me About It. Person 1: I Dreamed I Ate A 100 Pound Marshmallow. Person 2: What's So Bad About That? Person 1: When I Woke Up This Morning, My Pillow Was Gone!
--Steven Wang, Irvine, Calif.
Where Do Sheep Go For A Haircut?
The Baa-Baa Shop.
--Tom Donivan, Hill City, Minn.
Teacher: Matthew, Please Use The Word Gladiator In A Sentence.
Matthew: Yes, Ma'am. An Ugly Monster Ate My Sister, And I'm Gladiator.
--Jason Waisanen, Plamer, Alaska.
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