Problems page

Here's the part of my page where you can submit your problems and I take the piss out of them for you. All of these problems have genuinely been submitted by my readers, or taken from magazines, apart from he ones I made up of course.

Dear Big Stevie,

I've been going out with this man now for about a year, and we haven't had sex yet, what should I do. I really want to, but he doesn't seem so keen.

From,

Lonely Lucy.

Dear Lucy,

Your boyfriend isn't a real man, and he' s probably impotent. I'd dump him.

Dear Big Stevie,

I'm an 18 year old woman. My problem is that I have started to become attracted to other girls. What should I do.

From Worried Wendy

Wendy,

I have only two words which I think would help you right now. HOME MOVIE.