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A married couple was on holiday in
Pakistan. They were touring around
the marketplace looking at the
goods and such, when they passed a
small sandal shop. From inside they
heard a gentleman with a Pakistani
accent say,"You, foreigners! Come
in. Come into my humble shop."
The Pakistani man said to them, "I
have some special sandals I think
you'd be interested in. They make
you wild at sex like a great desert
camel." Well, the wife was really
interested in buying the sandals after
what the man had claimed, but her
husband felt he really didn't need
them, being the sex hero he was. The
husband asked the man, "How could
sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Pakistani man replied, "Why
don't you try them on and see for
yourself?" Well, the husband, after
much badgering from his wife,
finally conceded to try them on. As
soon as he slipped them on his feet,
he got this wild look in his eyes;
something his wife hadn't seen in
many years - raw sexual power. In a
blink of an eye,the husband rushed
the
Pakistani man, threw him on a table
and started tearing at the guy's
pants. All the time the Pakistani
man was screaming, "YOU HAVE
THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!
YOU HAVE THEM ON THE
WRONG FEET!"
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You Make The Call Bill
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Bill Gates
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory,
being
sized up by St. Peter. "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call;
I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you
enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home
in
America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to
do
something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let you
decide
where you want to go."
Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"
St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if
it
will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with
clear
waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the
water,
laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature
perfect.
Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this
is
hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!"
"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in
the
clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was
nice,
but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and
rendered
his decision.
"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to
check on
the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got
there, he
found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark
caves,
being burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going?" asked St. Peter.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,
"This is awful! This is nothing like what I saw before! I can't
believe
this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the
beautiful
beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???
"That was a demo," replied St. Peter. "You know what a demo is, don't
you
Bill?"
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